Taking a Social Break Over Summer Break

wanting no plans over summer break

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There’s something really awesome about summer break. Yes, there’s the loose schedules and less demands. You don’t have to rush in the mornings, make lunches, pester about homework, or drive the kids to endless activities.

There’s quality family time. There’s actually time to play games, bring out crafts, and do puzzles. You can actually relax and just hang out without rushing everyone to the Next Thing.

But there’s something even better: We get a break from the social scene and some of those moms we just don’t love.

Sure, I love being a part of whatever is happening. But during the school year, it’s go – go – go. There’s barely a night a month that’s free. And when you do have one, it’s filled quickly with the “shoulds.”

It’s the chaos and the keeping up with everything and everyone that I need a break from.

During summer, I can disappear from Facebook for weeks at a time. My mind takes a vacation from everyone.

Baring something tragic, I really don’t want to know what’s going on with everyone.

Just as I’m sure my kids need some time to recharge and get away from their friends and peers, I do as well.

Skipping the Social Scene Over Summer Break

In the spring, I envision relaxing weeks of summer and all I hope to accomplish.

In my mind, I’m already planning the guest list and some potential dates for different parties I want to have. Maybe a neighbor bash? That would be good to not have hurt feelings. “You weren’t invited because it was just my neighbors!”

I think of starting a Fourth of July party tradition, just as my parents did for 30+ years.

I want to be that cool house.

The party house.

The house where kids can just drop in, anytime, and always be welcome.

I want to have endless gallons of ice cream and pitchers of lemonade. I want to have a fully-stocked bar for all the parties and moms’ nights I’m planning.

But somehow, it just doesn’t happen.

Even though I’ve got entire weekends completely free — zero plans — I can’t get myself to invite some of those families that I really do want to have over.

I watch my kids play Fortnite with their friends — and talking with them through their headsets — and think, “Why do we need to have play dates? This is a play date in itself.”

So I continue to do nothing.

I’m not even inclined to extend a group invitation to everyone suggesting we all meet up to go bowling, a movie, or to the trampoline park.

break over summer break
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I want to keep my kids to myself….

In our cozy little world with zero outside obligations except for work and summer reading.

Taking a Social Break Over Summer Break

With the new school year just on the horizon, the craziness and chaos will begin soon enough.

We will be forced to interact at school functions and our calendars will fill.

We will be back to operating in catch-up mode.

Whether we like it or not, we will be forced to interact with everyone again.

In the meantime, I’m hoping it’s okay to just want to take a break from it all.

I was having a great day until I logged on Facebook… Not being invited

not being invited to something

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Before Facebook, we went on our oblivious merry way, not knowing about something we weren’t invited to.

People had no means to broadcast their social lives. They couldn’t actively promote themselves and their popularity.

Before social media, we had no way of knowing or seeing what everyone was up to.

It’s so much different now.

Have you ever logged onto Facebook and found out about an outing you weren’t invited to?

What about seeing a bunch of neighbors tagged in a post but you seem to be the only one on the block who wasn’t invited?

Whatever people’s motives are for posting and tagging when they know others are left out, it hurts those who aren’t tagged or pictured.

Think of those girls’ nights outs or a lunch that no one mentioned — there it is on Facebook.

Then there are the parties… oh those parties. Maybe your kid didn’t get invited to another kid’s bash, or maybe you weren’t included at that party that seems everyone else was invited to.

Damn, that stings. And stinks. You now have this information, and you wish you didn’t.

It puts you in a bad mood and starts to ruin your day. It gets into your head. You start spinning thoughts and getting a bit obsessive.

{Update to reader: You are not alone. This is a very popular post on our site, especially around the holidays.}

not being invited and seeing it on Facebook
Not being invited…

Feeling badly after logging onto Facebook

Facebook sometimes brings on emotions we wouldn’t have if we didn’t log on.

It’s bad enough learning a bunch of your friends went out to dinner or wherever without you, but now you get to see all of them tagged and pictured right before your very eyes.

Even worse? Everyone else in Facebookland — including those tagged — soon realize You Weren’t Invited.

It’s embarrassing. You sit there wishing you never logged onto Facebook.

But at the same time, you start trying to piece together the outing….

So and so was invited and I wasn’t?! When did she become part of this group? Are they all better friends with each other than I am?”

And…

Could this be for some meeting of some sort?

Do they all live on the same block?

Perhaps all their husbands are great friends, and they were all doing something together too?”

But try as you might, you realize, no… you just weren’t invited.

You weren’t invited for whatever reason or maybe no reason at all. Maybe everyone thought someone else was inviting you. Maybe they wanted to keep it small.

Do try to remember: Things aren’t always as they seem.

And more obsessing…

Could it be someone didn’t want to invite you? Why?

You really just have no idea. All you know is you too should have been invited, included, mentioned, tagged, and pictured but you weren’t.

The Mighty People Who Were Tagged… Invited & Included

It’s like high school popping into your Facebook feed.

It’s annoying. And hurtful.

You are not alone in being excluded and for feeling the way you do.

There will always be people who exclude people, leaving them out.

Instead of thinking how this might affect those not invited, they gloriously post away and bask in posting with fabulous pictures and numerous tags.

Life before Facebook

Back in the day — BF: Before Facebook — if we happened to find out about a party or a lunch or girls’ night of some kind, we used to be able to have our own pity party alone.

Chances are, we wouldn’t have found out about the event to begin with.

If somehow someone let it slip, and we did find out, it would be more minor because it was less public.

Those included/invited — and everyone else in Facebookland — wouldn’t know that you know you weren’t invited.

Remember just over a decade ago when people went about their business without Sharing and Posting and Tagging and Bragging?

Remember those blissfully awesome days when we lived anonymously?

We were focused on the moment.

Back to when we weren’t busy taking and posting photos and then incessantly checking our phones for Likes and Comments?

Gosh, how I miss those days. You wouldn’t know what you weren’t invited to.

In the same vein, you could invite who you wanted and no one else would know about it.

People lived in blissful ignorance.

We were busy doing what we were doing and not watching and commenting on and worrying what everybody else is doing.

Everyone wasn’t busy curating a public social image of themselves.

But now, Facebook multiplies and compounds everything.

Feeling excluded and being excluded now include literally seeing yourself excluded. These are now all real things.

How it happens

And these things happen when you least expect them to.

You are going about your day and decide to pop onto Facebook for a few minutes. You see in your News Feed that a bunch of moms in your “circle” have gone out without you.

They’re all tagged and pictured in the Post.

not being invited to something you see on Facebook

Everyone starts commenting about the great time they had.

This little (big) outing could be anything.

It could be everyone meeting at a restaurant on the first day of school. It could be a big meet up at the pool.

Maybe it’s a bunch of moms tagged for the release of a new movie or a new restaurant opening.

Perhaps it’s someone’s birthday.

No one invited you. Now everyone knows about it, including you.

They didn’t invite you, so now what?

So you’ve logged on, and you see all of these women in this Facebook post staring you in the face and now what?

Save face

Every situation is unique. Know your goal above all is to save face.

You may already feel pathetic or upset; there’s no reason to look that way.

Don’t dig

Please don’t dig for information.

You don’t need to start asking around about this outing trying to piece together the details. Remember, you want to be confident and protect your dignity.

Wait

Take a day or two before acting. It’s natural to want to react in this situation.

Don’t. There’s no rush.

Sometimes after a good night’s sleep, some exercise, and/or a call with a trusted person outside of this group (preferably a relative or someone out of state!) can give you some perspective.

Really, take your time before doing something you will regret. You won’t be able to take it back.

Do you Like a post for something you weren’t invited to?

Are you supposed to click Like and acknowledge it?

This may help you look to be the better person or you may look pathetic. Again, it depends on the situation.

Do you make a Comment?

After many discussions around this subject with women who have been on all sides of this (at times the host, at times the invited, and at times the excluded)….

We all agree nothing good can come from making a Comment on a post for something you weren’t invited to (but should have been invited to).

What would you say? “I hope you had fun!”

Of course they had fun; that’s why they are rubbing it in everyone else’s faces by posting about it.

What you want to say, of course, is, “Why the hell didn’t you invite me to this shindig?! I thought we were friends!”

What do these comments gain you? Nothing. Do Not Comment!

All you will do is embarrass yourself.

Do you do pretend you didn’t see the post?

You have the option to do nothing and pretend you didn’t see it.

This will help them save face by not having to mention it when they see you next and helps to ensure you save face.

Like the post if you absolutely feel you must but in all my friends’ experiences after many discussions around this subject, we’ve all concluded it’s usually better to just pretend you didn’t see the post.

Staying positive after feeling badly about a Facebook post

Work with all your might to refocus your energies into something positive.

Know that even though we are adults, it’s normal to feel hurt when we are excluded from something.

Take a walk around the block. Jog in place. Do jumping jacks. Box. Clean something.

Get moving somehow. You likely won’t be able to sit still.

Don’t start raiding the chocolate ice cream.

Facebook should bring you joy, not make you sad.

But we know, boy do we know, how hard this can be, and how hurtful this can be.

Being a mom on Facebook

It’s hard being a mom in the 21st century. There’s a lot we have to deal with.

These hurtful Facebook scenarios make me reflect on generations’ past, and my own mother’s experience dealing with moms.

Weren’t they lucky?! They didn’t know when friends excluded them.

For all we have now, I sometimes wish we had the anonymity and privacy they had.

Too bad it has to be all or nothing.

Going on Facebook and seeing you’re not invited to something

Your job first and foremost is to get through this.

It’s normal to feel hurt, confused, and mad about not being invited when it seems everyone else was.

It’s natural to obsess about it and go digging through other Facebook posts to see what’s going on.

Of course you wonder, “Did I miss anything else?”

Take a day to think about it, and then try to move past it.

It’s tough moving on, but this too shall pass.

They didn’t invite you

No matter how badly you feel, seek out people who build you up, not bring you down.

It feels awful when you learn that someone didn’t invite you.

What makes it even worse is seeing it on Facebook.

And seeing that everyone else saw it on Facebook.

What to do when you aren’t invited

Take some time and then start reflecting on people you want to hang out with.

Who are your people?

What qualities in people do you seek out?

Maybe it’s time to pick someone and start trying to encourage a friendship.

Start finding a group of people who may be more your crowd.

Oftentimes, we look “over there” at That Group when really, we will feel more ourselves by choosing other people.

Remember, you don’t have to wait around. You can be the one to send out the invitations.

7 Best Ways to Keep Kids Off Electronics Over the Summer

ways to keep kids off electronics

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Here we go again. Summer break is coming. Moms are getting worried. Very, very worried.

We want our kids to have a healthy balance between electronics and other activities. We’d love to have some easy house rules that are easy to enforce and easy to follow.

Moms don’t want to nag. We don’t want to be the time keeper.

We really don’t want to deal with a big checklist of Things For Kids To Do Before They Can Do Electronics.

How can we limit electronics use during the summer?

Keep kids off electronics over the summer

Engrossed in video games

The real thing is that time goes really quickly when they are playing those video games. Us Moms are getting our stuff done without interruption. The kids are happy; they aren’t fighting, getting hurt, or upending all the toy boxes.

keeping kids off electronics

So what’s the right mix? How can we not nag about it everyday and also not have to repeat ourselves all the time?

I don’t want to set a mile-long list for my kids to achieve before they “earn” their electronics time.

I just want there to be a balance and good habits in place.

It’s sort of like with junk food and snacks. My kids know their limits and boundaries because of rules we have in place.

Sure, sometimes there are special occasions or circumstances, but usually, we go on without issue.

Best ways to keep kids off electronics

Check out these ideas to keep kids off electronics over the summer. See which ones will work for your family. Consistency is key.

The best things that have worked in our house with electronics are these:

1.) They can’t get on their devices until a certain time.

In our house, this is after 10am. Enforcing this has made a big impact in our home.

This encourages our kids to sleep in or to at least try to go back to sleep “because there’s nothing to do anyway.”

This will also hopefully get them involved in some of the things I would usually do for them, including getting their breakfast. Now, without the lure of electronics, we are spending that time together.

Basically, when they wake up, they need to figure out what to do. They can’t default to using electronics. The hope is they become interested in other things, delaying it even more.

If nothing else, they have started their day being creative in some way.

Also, by making them wait until 10am before getting online, I will have accomplished some of my routine obligations so when my kids do sit down to play video games, I can use that time in a more purposeful way for myself.

(In the past, they would wake up really early and use their video game time. I’d still be sleeping. Because I needed to get things done, I would be apt to let them play longer into the day.)

Another bonus with this method is they have already done something productive in the day which will hopefully set them up for more activity throughout the day. “A body in motion….”

2.) They must play in the living room.

One of the best things to do is to not have a TV or any video game console (xBox, PlayStation, WiiU, etc.) in the child’s bedroom.

When they have to play in the living room or other common area, you will be much more aware of what’s happening and how long they have been online.

Here’s why you need to keep kids’ bedrooms screen free.

Of course, no one wants to deal with seeing and hearing these video games. But we must — soon enough they will be off and on their own. As parents, it’s still our responsibility now.

Have your child wear gaming headphones so you won’t have to hear the games all the time. It’s essential kids play electronics in the open areas of your home.

3.) Set certain hours.

Another easy-to-enforce way to monitor electronics use is to give certain hours they can play. As an example, this can be from 1pm – 4pm.

What’s great about this is they can use their electronics freely during this time without nagging from you.

Whichever hours and time range you choose, you will want to decide in advance if they can “finish their round” or it ends exactly when time is up.

We set the kitchen timer for 3:45pm so they have a 15 minute warning. My kids also bring their mini alarm clocks in the living room so they can better keep track of their time.

4.) Set up a time limit from within the device.

On most devices, you can limit the number of minutes or hours in a day kids can use it.

This is great because you can give them two hours — or however long — and once they use it, that’s it.

As a busy mom, you don’t have to monitor it with your own stopwatch or kitchen timer. It’s for the kids to manage on their own. And once their time is up, it’s up.

They can decide how they want to use their electronics time. They can divide it up over the day or use it all in one sitting, or however they choose to.

We instituted this on their iPads, and it’s made all the difference in our household.

Be sure you set this up from within the devices themselves. You don’t want to add to things you need to do as a mom by managing the time yourself.

It’s really easy to set up which enables you to change the amount of time whenever you want. Depending on your family schedule, you may give them a set amount of electronics time during the weekday and more or less on weekends.

By far, we’ve found this to be the best way to keep kids from being on electronics all day in the summer.

5.) Get them to play with something, anything.

The older kids get, the less they play with toys. But there are some activities even preteens and teens will enjoy. You just need to give them a little nudge.

During the school year, there’s not as much time for kids to do crafts, building, puzzles and play in general. But in the summer, they have lots more time, especially for activities that take longer.

Here are some ideas to get kids to play instead of doing electronics. (My tween sons enjoy doing all of these things.) Depending on your child’s age, all of these can be done indoors with little-to-no supervision.

  • Jigsaw puzzles
  • Yo-Yo
  • Origami
  • Rubik’s Cube
  • Larger Lego set
  • Little Bits
  • Snap Circuits
  • Learn to spin a basketball on your finger
  • Paracord bracelet making
  • Fly a drone

This summer, we are incorporating some other creative ideas. In the beginning, I’m sure they will object, but believe once they get into it, they will love each of these.

We are going to have them each make their own LEGO creation. It will have to have a name, a cover design, marketing strategy (what the target market is, age, pricing, etc.) and directions. Everyone in our family will take turns building it.

We are going to have them make up a board game, together or separately. They will also think of the age range, have to make the game board, write out directions, etc. We might even have them do a commercial for it.

After those are complete, we will have them research a place they’d like to visit and tell us about it.

6.) Make them get something done first.

I’m not a big fan of Do This So You Can Earn This.

However, it works well in some families. But this is something you have to be able to be strict with, and I’m just not that organized.

If you come up with a manageable list, go for it.

You just don’t want it to become so difficult that it’s near-impossible to complete. You also don’t really want to tie these chores or goals to things you want them to do anyway.

However, if you have a child who doesn’t like to read, maybe you match minute-to-minute, reading-to-video-game-playing.

Something that works well is setting the expectation that your child has to Do This (whatever your list is) today in order to play video games tomorrow.

So, in the next example of doing a summer workbook, you can set the expectation that your child finishes his/her two workbook pages today to earn the gaming time the next day.

In this way, whether it’s doing reading or playing outside or vacuuming or whatever is on the list, your child won’t rush through the task that morning. He or she will have all day to complete the task to earn the video game privilege for the next day.

This will help teach prioritizing and setting goals.

Summer workbooks

Something that works well is to have them do a certain combination of reading and summer workbook pages, and then they earn an hour or two of video games.

We love the summer bridge workbooks. It’s a workbook which bridges the grade they just completed with the grade they will enter.

best ways to keep kids off electronics over the summer

What’s great about these workbooks is there are 3-4 different activities each day.

There are different combinations each day, including geography, social studies, math, science, reading comprehension, and language arts.

Other workbooks tend to focus on just one subject.

Kids can usually complete each day in 10 – 20 minutes so it keeps children engaged in learning while reviewing concepts they covered.

(In some cases, these workbooks have introduced concepts for the first time.) We love these workbooks!

7.) Make them ask before getting online.

Another option is to make them ask before getting online. This is a good way to keep kids off electronics because they can’t just default to turning on the iPad.

This is more flexible because you can consider the weather — Can they play outside instead? You can consider other activities they might do — Have they played a game or done a craft lately? Have they finished their chores?

Maybe you all sit down to read for a half hour, and then he goes online.

It’s just more a moment-by-moment way to handle it. It offers more flexibility and is a great way to keep kids off electronics.

Keeping kids off video games during the summer

Left to their own devices, (pun intended) my kids would be on it all day, every day. And even when one son is playing Fortnite, my other son would happily watch him play it. Or he would be playing on the iPad, probably watching Youtube videos.

I want my kids to play. To be industrious. I want them to be bored and to figure it out. I want them to create and construct. To learn. I want them to be kids.”

But it’s difficult nowadays.

It’s so easy and so tempting to just let them have 10 more minutes or to finish their round. Without monitoring and constant nagging from Mom, that means another half hour or longer.

Playing Fortnite and other games with friends

Depending on your child’s age and grade, Fortnite might be daily conversation in your house.

My kids make their plans in school to play with their friends after school — almost like play dates — which is great. They are interacting with friends! What’s not to like?

This is all well and good during the school year when everyone is busy with homework and schedules.

During the summer, it’s a different story. They would be on it all day if they could.

Figuring out ways to minimize electronics time over the summer is essential.

Keep kids off electronics over the summer

Think back to your own childhood. There wasn’t constant stimulation all the time. Our parents were trying to keep us off electronics. People weren’t multi-tasking walking and using smart phones, that’s for sure.

Times were slower. We learned how to just Be. We learned how to be BORED.

Bored is good!

If I see my kids have played and invented and aren’t just resorting to the tried-and-true electronics, I’m much more apt to say, “Yes! You can go online.”

Other times, I will say, “No, go figure something out.”

We will be working hard this summer to break the routine of just vegging out playing electronics out of habit. However, my goal always is to be sure this isn’t more work for mom.

Basically, there are certain things I want my kids to do each day:

  • Play with something
  • Play outside
  • Read for 20+ minutes
  • Do two pages in their summer slide workbooks
  • Pick up their rooms and shared bathroom (1x/week)
  • Get the mail (Alternate days)
  • Feed dog (Alternate days)

Moms want to start the summer strong with whatever method(s) we choose for keeping kids off electronics over the summer. However, we don’t want to start strong and then get lack as the weeks go on.

It’s easy for parents to spend too much time online too. Read for tips to help stay off electronics.

What are your tips for keeping kids off electronics? Please leave them in the Comments.

What are your Facebook friends selling?

What are your Facebook friends selling

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While it’s great Facebook friends can sell things on Facebook, sometimes it’s annoying.

If you are inviting me to your party to sell me something but you don’t invite me to your other parties, I might not be that keen on going.

Sure, it will be fun with the other women, the drinks and party food will be  And I appreciate your entrepreneurialism and want to be excited for what you are selling. I want to support you.

So yes, it will be a fun night out. And really, if my only cost is to buy a $40 something (hopefully a product I want) maybe that’s not so bad. It could easily cost that much for a night out.

But it’s still annoying at times. You view me as a sale.

Kudos to you for your hustle, drive and determination. However, sometimes, I have a right to feel offended, particularly when we aren’t that great of friends, and the only time you reach out to me is because you want to sell me something.

Facebook friends selling stuff

Chances are, your Facebook friends are selling a lot of things.

There are many excellent direct sales opportunities out there. There’s Rodan + Fields, Usborne Books, Young Living Essential Oils, LuLaRoe, and many more. We all remember the industry leaders: Avon, Mary Kay, Tupperware, and The Pampered Chef.

These are all excellent companies. They offer quality products and amazing opportunities for (often) stay-at-home moms and dads.

Being invited to a {sales} party

It got me to thinking about all the parties my friends used to invite me to. Sales parties. I loathed them in the 1990s – 2000s because there were so many. I always wanted to say,

Here, just take this.” <Give them $30.> “I don’t know what you would profit off of me if I bought something but I’m really only here to be polite. And I really do not want to buy anything. Where are the snacks?”

Tupperware, The Pampered Chef, Mary Kay, Avon, some candle company.

I’m sure I went to a few more early on. In the early 2000s, it was jewelry: Albert Condren (I actually loved the three things I bought from this party/brand) and Lia Sophia and jewelry brand I can’t remember but I remember that shiny paper gold box.

What are your Facebook friends selling
What are your Facebook friends selling?

Stella & Dot, Cheeky Couture, Thirty-One Gifts, Origami Owl… it goes on and on.

And nails! A few years ago I spent $22 on nail decals I still have yet to use.

Books! When my kids were mini, my friend was selling Usborne Books from her home so she could get books for her home. We already had so many books. And with book stores and my public library, sorry, but I wasn’t looking for more books. But I was obligated to buy a few, and we enjoyed them over the years.

Recently, I was invited to a Cabi party. I actually loved the $95 skirt I bought but I didn’t need it, wouldn’t have ever spent that much on a skirt and only bought it to support the woman selling it.

Again, I support all of these businesses and direct sales and think they are great.

I also love the idea of getting women together.

So if I’m going to spend money on a night out with friends, how is this really that different?

And I’ll even come home with candles, books, skincare products, etc. But sometimes it’s just too much.

Virtual sales parties are great

One of the greatest things that have come out of social media is now there are virtual sales parties instead of in-person parties.

Easier to ignore

There’s so much less guilt in saying No to a virtual party when there are so many other people invited. These types of sales “invitations” are even quite easy to ignore.

I often procrastinate in RSVPing with my No because I don’t want to start or contribute to a downward spiral of other people saying No. For sure, no virtual party hostess wants to have a virtual party fail.

Don’t need to make an excuse about why you can’t attend

There’s just less pressure all around. You don’t have that pressure where you can’t just say no — that pressure when you have to give an excuse. “Sorry, I can’t make it Friday. Bobby has a basketball game.”

You won’t ever want to make the mistake of saying, “I wish I could go but Bobby has a basketball game.” If you’ve ever made this mistake, you won’t make it a second time. What you have done is given an opening for the salesperson/friend to say, “I’ll get you a catalog.” Or more 21st-century, “I’ll send you the link so you can shop conveniently online.”

No thanks. I am cheap and don’t want to buy anything. I was just trying to be polite. Pretty much, I didn’t know how to just say “No, I can’t make it.”

Not missing out on a night out

And I’m not missing out on a fun night by declining, which is a bonus.

Inexpensive for them to market

What’s great is it’s inexpensive for these friends/sellers to remind me what company they represent. If and when I’m ever wanting something from that company, I know who to get in touch with.

They can post helpful tips

Pretty much no matter what someone is selling, Facebook is the perfect medium for it. Your Facebook friends can post their helpful solutions for skin, hair, and cleaning problems.

Read the post or don’t; it doesn’t matter. You can choose to Like or Comment on it or decide to scroll on by.

You can avoid seeing their posts

Also, you can opt to “Mute for 30 days” when you tire of them. You can also do the ever-popular “Stop Seeing Notifications from this Person” and your Facebook-selling friends won’t even know.

This isn’t meant to discourage you from being supportive of your friends who are trying to make a living. However, every once in a while you might need a break from the sales pitches.

Being annoyed with Facebook friends selling products

Some of my Facebook friends have started posting about this. Someone wrote:

Am I literally the only Facebook friend that isn’t selling oils or jewelry or candles or charm bracelets or makeup or beauty serum or leggings or fill-in-the-blank home business?”

Lots of people chimed in, including many who do sell things. No one seemed to be offended but it offered interesting perspectives.

Still, even though it’s passive, I have several friends who are very annoyed when they see their Facebook friends selling something.

Once over lunch, one of them joked she had too many “oils friends.” It was cold and flu season, and there had been a lot of people selling doTERRA and Young Living Essential Oils, posting helpful remedies and products.

I haven’t been annoyed by it or felt like my Newsfeed was crowded with sales pitches. I actually think some of those Rodan + Fields’ 1980s references were really funny and attention-getting. Usually, I see who it is posting and think, “She sells XX,” and I just scroll on by.

My friend who at lunch complained about having too many oils friends later texted us as a follow up: “Buy oils, drink this tea. Use this lotion. Try this spice. I’m over it.”

Virtual sales on Facebook

Most people don’t mind the virtual sales pitches on Facebook. It’s less costly for the “business owner” and easier too.

virtual sales parties on Facebook
Virtual sales parties on Facebook are convenient and don’t obligate friends

It’s subtle selling now. The people selling can be less “in your face.”

They can set up a special group. They can have giveaways and contests. Anyone who wants to buy, can still buy.

It’s awesome how Facebook has become an advertising and marketing channel for these types of businesses.

Facebook keeps costs down for them, and we, their customers, aren’t put into awkward face-to-face situations. We can hide behind our screens, and choose not to buy.

Am I a customer or are we friends?

But, I can’t help feeling a little annoyed when I’m suddenly popular with these virtual invitations. Would you be hounding me to come to your party if it was just, well, a party? No. I’ve seen all the other things you were doing without me.

I’m justified in feeling a little miffed that suddenly we are best friends because you want to sell me something. Do you ever invite me to your other parties, you know, when you’re not selling something?

I had a Facebook friend who continued to follow up with me about coming to her sales party. I had RSVP’d no because of a conflict. She messaged me more than once about coming afterwards. Eventually I discovered she unfriended me.

We can probably all agree it’s easier now that these direct sales parties happen online. If you are interested in buying products from your friends, great!

But if you aren’t interested, don’t need, or can’t afford what they are selling, these virtual parties let you save time and money, and you won’t miss out on anything fun socially.

What are your Facebook friends selling?

My friend ended the text chain with,

And don’t get me started on my Juice Plus friend.”

It was the perfect end to a perfect text string. The next time we talk, I’m going to remind her how much better it is to see this on Facebook than to be obligated face-to-face and to feel the need to attend in-person sales parties.

Again, we love to support stay-at-home businesses. It takes hustle, drive, commitment, and determination.

What do you think of your Facebook friends selling things on Facebook?

17 Things Moms Have to Deal with on Facebook and Social Media

moms have to deal with a lot on Facebook

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Being a mom and on Facebook is sometimes hard work. Yes, we know: These are first world problems for sure. But sometimes we see a post on social media that puts us in a bad mood. There is a lot that moms have to deal with on Facebook.

This sometimes-not-so-great feeling we have after being on Facebook is often difficult to understand or explain.

There’s just this gnawing feeling that something isn’t right.

Afterwards, we are stuck in our own world— one in which we overthink and stress about stuff which ends up making us more anxious. It hurts our psyche and has a domino effect on our day.

Being included on Facebook

We all want to feel included. Of course we want to be likable and have people invite us to outings.

No one wants to be sitting home on a Saturday night only to log onto Facebook and see a bunch of friends are out somewhere fun without you.

You end up wishing you never saw that post because you end up obsessing about it.

Has this ever happened to you?

Sometimes these Facebook posts hit us to the core, mostly when we least expect it. Think about it:

We often log onto Facebook when we are tired, bored, overwhelmed, or procrastinating… and simply not at our best.

Wanting Facebook to be positive

Many moms and other people are giving up Facebook because we are trying to stay positive. We don’t want to be dragged down because of what we see others posting.

what moms have to deal with on Facebook and social media
Sometimes we dwell on what we see in a Facebook post

We don’t want to have to be a part of that hyper-connected world in which we have to be “on” all the time being witty or popular or cool.

And really, we don’t want to be constantly curating an image of ourselves by portraying our fantastic kids and wonderful lives.

It’s all so exhausting.

This is a lot us 21st century moms have to deal with when it comes to Facebook.

What moms have to deal with on Facebook and social media

  1. Seeing a post and learning someone didn’t invite us to something.
  2. Feeling embarrassed people know we weren’t invited.
  3. Someone excluding us from a tag.
  4. Realizing your kids were not invited somewhere.
  5. Cliffhanger posts
  6. Putting yourself out there with your own post or comment on someone’s post and people misinterpret it.
  7. No one liking or commenting on your post. — Have you ever given a pity Like? Have you ever received one?
  8. Someone purposely withholding Likes to your post; social snubbing; and underlying competition.
  9. Wasting time in the Facebook vortex.
  10. Seeing people sell their stuff and inviting you to their virtual parties.
  11. Seeing people who brag or humble brag.
  12. Dealing with people who are creating a certain image for themselves and their kids.
  13. Looking in on what seems like everyone’s happy marriages, kids, jobs, lives.
  14. Seeing everyone’s awesome spring break and summer vacations.
  15. Believing everyone has perfect lives like the pictures they are posting.
  16. Those darn people who won’t accept your friend request. You continue to wonder why not.
  17. Those darn people who you somehow discover Unfriended you. You think of them for some reason, and then go to look them up, and see you are no longer friends. You wonder when did this happen?? What did I do?! Why didn’t she just “Stop Seeing Notifications from this person”? (It’s actually quite a brilliant feature because the person’s posts won’t appear in your Newsfeed but you are still friends with them. I do this with Facebook friends who are constantly bragging or making political posts.) Why would this person take the drastic measure to Unfriend me? Of course I’m going to be livid.

It goes on and on. Again, for sure, there are other more significant problems in the world. But this Facebook stuff seems just as real to many moms at times.

Getting in a bad mood after using social media

We often log on Facebook, and we see something that puts us in a bad mood.

And once we are in a bad mood, it affects how we deal with what is going on around us.

It affects our productivity and our relationships.

We want social media to be fun, not to drag us down.

Sometimes, simply by changing the Notifications Settings for some of your Facebook friends will be enough.

Other times, you may have to minimize your time on Facebook.

Either way, it’s best to remember it’s a great tool to keep in touch with hundreds of people. Keep it light and fun, and it will serve you well.

Moms have to deal with enough already without having to contend with what they see on Facebook.

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