Are parents being clueless? Or are they posting to brag and hurt people’s feelings? Either way, it’s surprising to see parents posting and bragging about kids’ parties on Facebook.
You really have to wonder the motive.
Is it to show their child is better friends with these certain kids but not others? Or are they posting because they want to share photos with the guests?
What does this mom derive from broadcasting to all of her Facebook friends that her kid had a party?
It’s basically telling everyone: My kid had a birthday party and didn’t invite your kid.
Unless she is inviting every possible child in her child’s circle, she is hurting people’s feelings while exalting the chosen few.
While many people may unknowingly be bragging about their kids’ parties on Facebook, there are many who do it purposely to show they’ve excluded others.
Moms boasting on Facebook about their kids’ parties
You have to figure there is an ulterior motive. Sure, it may seem like she is “only trying to share pictures with everyone,” but that’s not usually the full story. There’s more.
Is she posting to brag? To show off the cool party? Does she post to show how popular her child is?
Or do you think parents are purposely posting about their child’s parties on Facebook to hurt people’s feelings?
Of course families have a right to have parties and to invite whomever they want to without worrying about including everyone. Awesome. Enjoy.
But you have to wonder about the mom who posts about her kid’s friend party on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. Why is she doing it?
Telling everyone on Facebook it’s your child’s birthday
If she wants everyone to know it is her child’s birthday, she can take a picture of the birthday boy or girl and post it.
Then family, friends, neighbors, and random Facebook friends can wish her child a very Happy Birthday.
People do this. It’s normal. There’s no hidden agenda with posting about your child’s birthday, celebrating your child, and sharing his or her picture with people who might care.
They can ooh and ahh about how time flies and how big your child is. Awesome.
Post some pictures of your child growing up and/or just the present day. Perfect. Everyone can say Happy Birthday.
Along the same lines, if you post birthday party pictures from a family gathering, that’s okay too.
This is very different than posting about a friend party. With a party that involves relatives, there isn’t the opportunity for friends to be excluded because no friends were invited.
When moms post a birthday party on Facebook
Saying Happy Birthday to your child via a Facebook post is one thing; however, posting pictures from your child’s friend party is another thing.
You have to wonder why the mom is posting about this. She knows her child didn’t invite everyone.
There’s always some kids who may be “lesser friends” who didn’t make the cut for whatever reason.
She knows it’s likely these families will see her post about this party that their kid wasn’t invited to.
These parents don’t need to see how their child wasn’t invited to your kid’s party. These parents don’t need to see the invitees and start wondering about where their child ranks.
So why does she put it on Facebook?
Posting about a kid’s birthday party on Facebook
She may be reasoning to herself that she wants to share pictures with everyone who came or thank them for coming. She may just want to prolong the excitement from the party.
However, so many times, we see a mom posting about her kid’s party and tagging everyone who was at the party in the post.
a) Everyone at her child’s party knows they were at the party and said “Happy Birthday” to her child.
b) The mom hosting the party already said, “Thanks for coming.”
If this is her goal, she DOESN’T NEED TO post the party on Facebook to achieve this. All of this was done in real life — in actual real time — at the party.
Why does this mom need to post about it, brag about it, and share it with everyone else? If she wants grandma and auntie to see it and hear about it, she can contact them separately.
Sharing pictures from the party
If her purpose is to share pictures from the party, this mom / party hostess can email everyone separately.
Yes, it’s often easier to post party pictures on Facebook and tag everyone who was there.
There is a way to do this where only the people invited to the party can see the post and pictures.
Facebook makes it easy to adjust the privacy settings so only Specific Friends can see the post.
Perhaps people don’t realize Facebook has this feature. See below where we explain how to post on Facebook so only Specific Friends can see the post.
Posting about a kid’s party in this way allows the party thrower to post and boast to the people who were actually invited to the party.
So, it begs to reason, is this mom is posting to make other children and families to feel left out?
Reasons everyone isn’t invited
Of course, everyone can’t be invited to every party. There are justifiable reasons for not inviting everyone. Fundamentally, everyone understands this.
There are friend groups to consider. Some kids get along better with others. Sometimes you don’t want to have a random kid that isn’t as good of friends with the other guests. It’s easy to have that group of five kids or however many that get along well.
Maybe the moms are great friends, and they will all hang out at the party. We get it.
Other times you might have space limits. This can mean you are having a party at a jump castle place or trampoline park and you are paying for 12 kids maximum. Or maybe you can only have 10 kids for bowling. Maybe there’s a max of 16 kids for mini golf. Everyone understands this. There are costs to consider.
Sometimes, you want to make it easy on the other parents and drive everyone. In that instance, you will only be able to invite however many kids you can fit in however many vehicles you have.
Or you might be having a party at your house. You need to consider how to entertain these kids. Everyone understands you can only invite a certain number of friends. This is especially true if it’s a sleepover.
The more kids you have, the more expensive it is. You need to keep to a budget. That’s understandable.
Everyone understands why their kid isn’t invited to everything.
Why post this on Facebook?
What we don’t understand is why the mom is showing the party off to everyone on Facebook and pretty much telling everyone: This is who was invited. Sorry to the rest of you. Your child did not make the cut.
When these parents post about their kid’s birthday party on Facebook, it’s drawing a line in the sand about where your child ranks among their child’s friend group.
Backfiring on the mom
Sometimes it backfires on them, and they don’t even know it. If I see your kid had a party and didn’t invite my kid, trust me, I’m not going to ensure my kid invites your kid to her next party.
Post on Facebook to Specific Friends
Instead of posting the child’s friend birthday party on Facebook for everyone to see, you can post so only Specific Friends see it.
This way, you can avoid hurt feelings and bragging by simply creating a Facebook post specifying who you want to see the post. In this way, all of your Facebook friends won’t see the post.
How to post on Facebook to Specific Friends
Create a post on Facebook as you usually would. Include all the pictures and talk about how fun it was to have everyone celebrate the party. Don’t post it yet.
Look below the post. On the left, you will see News Feed. On the right, click the right so the arrow displays a drop down menu.
From there, click on More at the bottom. It will display:
Click on Specific Friends. Then, just as you would tag someone in a post, you click to add the people you want to see the post.
Next, click Save Changes. Then click Post.
Your Facebook post will show up in certain Facebook friends’ feeds and only theirs.
In this way, the party hostess can include everyone that was a part of the party. She can also include faraway relatives and friends and anyone she specifically wants to see the post.
Do not post and hide the post from people who weren’t invited
Making a Facebook post to include Specific Friends is very different than making a post and clicking on Friends Except.
Do not make a post to your Facebook friends and then choose the Friends Except option. It’s natural to want to use this Facebook feature. However, doing so makes it even worse for the families who have kids that weren’t invited.
You do not want to click on everyone who could of or should of been invited to the party but you didn’t invite. Excluding them from the party and then from the Facebook post makes it worse.
We know everyone doesn’t see every Facebook post but purposely excluding a few from a post somehow makes it even worse for those people.
Showing off parties on social media
Another consideration is perhaps these people are posting on Facebook to show everyone what a cool party they had for their child.
Of course, we are all wanting our kids to have positive attention. Lots of times we are truly humble people who just are proud of a celebration we pulled off. Maybe we put together a splendid party. Perhaps we made a really cool cake.
Somehow this is okay. This mom is proud of herself. Own it.
Showing off themed parties
In kids’ younger years, this may have been a themed birthday party. We’ve all seen Facebook posts and enough Pinterest ideas to know that some kids parties are full-on entertainment venues unto themselves.
There are themed party foods, a delightful cake, many other desserts because you just can’t have cake, cute party favors, proper decorations, related activities, and crafts.
After those themed parties, it gets a bit better.
Other kids’ parties people show off
In their children’s elementary school years, it might mean a bowling, roller skating or trampoline park party. As they age, maybe it’s a party with a video game truck or a PG-13 movie and a sleepover.
Sometimes children are able to invite the entire class. This may be the one instance in which it’s okay to post about the party.
Kids who made the party list
Otherwise, you are basically saying, “Here are my child’s friends who made the cut to be invited to his/her birthday party.” Oh well if your kids wasn’t invited.
“I’ve tagged all the people in the picture who were there.”
At this point, you will likely see other others who couldn’t make it clamoring to chime in to post how, “Sorry they were to have missed it,” so everyone knows they too were invited to the party — they aren’t pictured and tagged because they had other plans.
This in itself is humorous.
There’s lots of bragging going on. These are from moms who Brag All the Time.
Unless you are inviting everyone to your child’s party, or a known BFF, or only the kids in the neighborhood, chances are, you will be hurting some moms’ feelings.
Your intent may not be to show how some kids were invited while others were not invited. But you will be doing this when you post about it, intentionally or not.
Kids left out
Just like most schools don’t want kids passing out birthday party invitations to only a few students, it’s normal to want to use the same discretion on social media.
Unless you are inviting “the entire class” or “all of the boys in the class” or all of the neighborhood kids or whatever closed group you can define, don’t post.
If you have a closed group, as in, you invite all all the kids from your kid’s karate class — and that’s it — then fine. Others seeing your post on Facebook will realize their child isn’t in karate, that is why her child wasn’t invited.
Should birthday photos be shown on Facebook?
Another concern when mom’s post about their kid’s birthday party on Facebook is that oftentimes, other people’s kids are in them.
Post pictures of only your child. Do not assume other people want their child to be on Facebook and social media.
Also, never post about your kid at another kid’s birthday party. That mom, the party hostess, may not have wanted to publicize on Facebook that her child was having a party. She’s not posting because she is trying not to hurt people’s feelings. She knows her child didn’t invite everyone.
So when a guest posts about someone else’s party, that puts the hostess in a bad situation.
Don’t post about your child being at someone else’s party.
That’s the party host’s information to post or not post. It’s common that a mom wants to show her kid is invited to things and is popular, but don’t do it.
Social media excludes people
Of course we know our kids aren’t invited to every outing. The difference though is seeing it on social meeting.
It’s one thing not being invited. It’s another to have to see it. Learning that one of your child’s friends had a party and didn’t invite your child is hurtful.
Facebook hurts people’s feelings
It’s important to remember, many of us log on Facebook when we have a few minutes to spare or when we are feeling bored, lazy, are procrastinating, etc. The point is oftentimes we log on to look for some entertainment or something to lift our spirits and take us away from our real life.
When we log and and see about a party our kid wasn’t invited to, that really stuns us and puts us in a worse mood than we were before we logged on. I was having a great day until I logged onto Facebook
We all know our kids can’t be invited to all of the parties. We just hope the party hostess can use some discretion and not post about her child’s party on Facebook.
She can set up a post so just Specific Friends see it. In this way, she isn’t telling others that their kids didn’t make the invite list. She also helps her child get invited to more things by keeping quiet about who is in her child’s inner circle.
We strongly advise to stop bragging about kids’ parties on Facebook. It serves no purpose.