New Words and Phrases Because of Social Media

new phrases on social media

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The English language has long been known to be one of the most difficult languages to master. In addition, slang and new phrases became commonplace through the generations.

However, with social media, they now catch on much quicker.

Slang terms and new words have become mainstream due to the Internet and specifically through social media.

Think of the ways we talk and post:

We are using nouns as verbs and verbs as nouns.

Our kids are growing up hearing these words as if they’ve always existed. You can probably think of many of these types of words yourself.

New verbs because of Facebook and social media

Think of the new verbs we use in relation to Facebook:

Verbs that were always verbs but now used in the context of Facebook:

  • Tag me in that post.
  • She tagged me.
  • I shared the post.
  • She blocked her.
  • I didn’t Like her post.
  • She was Facebook-stalking me.

We Tweet…. Instagram…. Facebook…

Snapchat it…

We post….

So while you are Facebook Friending people to up your Friends list — you have to keep being popular after all — remember this is all fairly new stuff.

Annoying phrases on social media

There are many things we have to deal with because of social media.

A bunch of us women — in our late 30s to mid-40s who use Facebook and Instagram — had a big discussion around this topic.

It turned into a conversation around the annoying phrases we were seeing on Facebook.

For whatever reason, some of the words and the way our Facebook friends were using them, were really bugging us. (There may or may not have been wine/whine involved.)

We were talking about how and why some of these words and phrases have caught on. Before Facebook, most likely, no one was writing them.

new phrases on social media

While we are all for the informality, speed, and convenience — big reasons we love Facebook — some of them bother us.

Some of these phrases include:

Boo! (aka the sad face equivalent)

Sure, you are trying to express your support and dismay at something. It’s usually something lighthearted. This might be in response to a post something like, “I tried to make this Pinterest-worthy dessert but it failed.”

“Boo!” says a loyal Facebook friend.

“I got off late from work and raced to Target but it was closed when I got there.” BOO chimes your online community.

We all agreed there’s something babyish and whiny about that Boo coming from a grown adult.

We couldn’t pinpoint exactly why it bothered all of us so much but it came down to reminding us of a little girl pouting for her daddy to buy her something.

Yes, we cringe when we see a “boo” on a Facebook post. Please just use the sad face emoji!

Love me some ______.

We were also bothered with the phrase: Love me some _____

It’s not that it’s an improper sentence — it’s just plain annoying.

Instead of saying “Love me some margaritas,” can you simply state: I love margaritas!

We often find this phrase in the context of someone who is showing they already do something or have been somewhere.

Love me some Game of Thrones. Love me some (name-of-new-restaurant-no-one-has-been-to-yet except you).

Please just simply state what you love and be done with it. “I love horseback riding by the ocean” or whatever it is you feel you must post about that you love so much.

Love that kid — Love that girl — Love that boy 

It seems so strange to us to be referring to your own child as a “that” instead of “my.” We do find it very bizarre.

It’s like before your child was born and someone calling your baby an “it.”

We are big fans of writing: “I love him so much,” not: “I love that kid.”

Really, do you walk around saying: I love that kid?

Or do you just think, “I love him” or “I love (your child’s name)”?

Responding with Yep

What is Yep and when did it swoop in to replace Yes?

Half of us at our humble table of six agreed we despise the “Yep” answer. We found it to be flippant and dismissive. It’s as if you are bothering this person with your question, and she’s dismissing you with a Yep. (We covered this already — stop texting about this.)

We see this in Facebook comments as well as in responses to texts.

Is Yep the cool way to be affirmative? Is a simple Yes — also three letters and sharing the Y and E — no longer acceptable? We are on a campaign to bring back Yes.

We get that social media is supposed to be an easy and informal way of communicating, but it still bugs us!

New words on social media

These new phrases and words on social media catch on and then you will see them for months. Sometimes you will see them for years. They spread quickly on Facebook.

Do you love all the new verbs and nouns we have due to social media?

In the 21st century, we have added many new verbs to our vocabularies due to technology and social media: post, like, comment, unfriend, unfollow, friend request someone, and many more.

All of these words expanding our vocabulary… all of this lingo is now part of our vernacular. What do you think of these words and phrases we use on social media?

 

 

 

I was having a great day until I logged on Facebook… Not being invited

not being invited to something

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Before Facebook, we went on our oblivious merry way, not knowing about something we weren’t invited to.

People had no means to broadcast their social lives. They couldn’t actively promote themselves and their popularity.

Before social media, we had no way of knowing or seeing what everyone was up to.

It’s so much different now.

Have you ever logged onto Facebook and found out about an outing you weren’t invited to?

What about seeing a bunch of neighbors tagged in a post but you seem to be the only one in the group who wasn’t invited?

Whatever people’s motives are for posting and tagging when they know others are left out, it hurts those who aren’t tagged or pictured.

Think of those girls’ nights outs or a lunch that no one mentioned — there it is on Facebook.

Then there are the parties… oh those parties. Maybe your kid didn’t get invited to another kid’s bash, or maybe you weren’t included at that party that seems everyone else was invited to.

Damn, that stings. And stinks. You now have this information, and you wish you didn’t.

It puts you in a bad mood and starts to ruin your day. It gets into your head. You start spinning thoughts and getting a bit obsessive.

{Update to reader: You are not alone. This is a very popular post on our site, especially around the holidays.}

Feeling badly after logging onto Facebook

Facebook sometimes brings on emotions we wouldn’t have if we didn’t log on.

It’s bad enough learning a bunch of your friends went out to dinner or wherever without you, but now you get to see all of them tagged and pictured right before your very eyes.

Even worse? Everyone else in Facebookland — including those tagged — soon realize You Weren’t Invited.

It’s embarrassing. You sit there wishing you never logged onto Facebook.

But at the same time, you start trying to piece together the outing….

So and so was invited and I wasn’t?! When did she become part of this group? Are they all better friends with each other than I am?”

And…

Could this be for some meeting of some sort? Do they all live on the same block? Perhaps all their husbands are great friends, and they were all doing something together too?”

But try as you might, you realize, no… you just weren’t invited.

You weren’t invited for whatever reason or maybe no reason at all. Maybe everyone thought someone else was inviting you. Maybe they wanted to keep it small.

Remember: things aren’t always as they seem.

And more obsessing…

Could it be someone didn’t want to invite you? Why?

You really just have no idea. All you know is you too should have been invited, included, mentioned, tagged, and pictured but you weren’t.

Life before Facebook

Back in the day — BF: Before Facebook — if we happened to find out about a party or a lunch or girls’ night of some kind, we used to be able to have our own pity party alone.

Chances are, we wouldn’t have found out about the event to begin with.

If somehow someone let it slip, and we did find out, it would be more minor because it was less public.

Those included/invited — and everyone else in Facebookland — wouldn’t know that you know you weren’t invited.

Remember just over a decade ago when people went about their business without Sharing and Posting and Tagging and Bragging?

Remember those blissfully awesome days when we lived anonymously?

We were focused on the moment.

Back to when we weren’t busy taking and posting photos and then incessantly checking our phones for Likes and Comments?

Gosh, how I miss those days. You wouldn’t know what you weren’t invited to.

In the same vein, you could invite who you wanted and no one else would know about it.

People lived in blissful ignorance. We were busy doing what we were doing and not watching and commenting on and worrying what everybody else is doing.

We weren’t busy curating a public social image of ourselves.

But now, Facebook multiplies and compounds everything.

Feeling excluded and being excluded now include literally seeing yourself excluded. These are now all real things.

How it happens

And these things happen when you least expect them to.

You are going about your day and decide to pop onto Facebook for a few minutes. You see in your News Feed that a bunch of moms in your “circle” have gone out without you.

They’re all tagged and pictured in the Post.

not being invited to something you see on Facebook

Everyone starts commenting about the great time they had.

This little (big) outing could be anything.

It could be everyone meeting at a restaurant on the first day of school. It could be a big meet up at the pool.

Maybe it’s a bunch of moms tagged for the release of a new movie or a new restaurant opening.

No one invited you. Now everyone knows about it, including you.

They didn’t invite you, so now what?

So you’ve logged on, and you see all of these women in this Facebook post staring you in the face and now what?

Save face

Every situation is unique. Know your goal above all is to save face.

You may already feel pathetic or upset; there’s no reason to look that way.

Don’t dig

Please don’t dig for information.

You don’t need to start asking around about this outing trying to piece together the details. Remember, you want to be confident and protect your dignity.

Wait

Take a day or two before acting. It’s natural to want to react in this situation.

Don’t. There’s no rush.

Sometimes after a good night’s sleep, some exercise, and/or a call with a trusted person outside of this group can give you some perspective.

Really, take your time before doing something you will regret. You won’t be able to take it back.

Do you Like a post for something you weren’t invited to?

Are you supposed to click Like and acknowledge it?

This may help you look to be the better person or you may look pathetic. Again, it depends on the situation.

Do you make a Comment?

After many discussions around this subject with women who have been on all sides of this (at times the host, at times the invited, and at times the excluded)….

We all agree nothing good can come from making a Comment on a post for something you weren’t invited to (but should have been invited to).

What would you say? “I hope you had fun!”

Of course they had fun; that’s why they are rubbing it in everyone else’s faces by posting about it.

What you want to say, of course, is, “Why the hell didn’t you invite me to this shindig?! I thought we were friends!”

What do these comments gain you? Nothing. Do Not Comment!

All you will do is embarrass yourself.

Do you do pretend you didn’t see the post?

You have the option to do nothing and pretend you didn’t see it.

This will help them save face by not having to mention it when they see you next and helps to ensure you save face.

Like the post if you absolutely feel you must but in all my friends’ experiences after many discussions around this subject, we’ve all concluded it’s usually better to just pretend you didn’t see the post.

Staying positive after feeling badly about a Facebook post

Work with all your might to refocus your energies into something positive.

Know that even though we are adults, it’s normal to feel hurt when we are excluded from something.

Take a walk around the block. Jog in place. Do jumping jacks. Box. Clean something.

Get moving somehow. You likely won’t be able to sit still.

Don’t start raiding the chocolate ice cream.

Facebook should bring you joy, not make you sad.

But we know, boy do we know, how hard this can be, and how hurtful this can be.

Being a mom on Facebook

It’s hard being a mom in the 21st century. There’s a lot we have to deal with.

These hurtful Facebook scenarios make me reflect on generations’ past, and my own mother’s experience dealing with moms.

Weren’t they lucky?! They didn’t know when friends excluded them.

For all we have now, I sometimes wish we had the anonymity and privacy they had.

Too bad it has to be all or nothing.

They didn’t invite you

No matter how badly you feel, seek out people who build you up, not bring you down.

Start finding a group of people who may be more crowd.

Remember, you don’t have to wait around. You can be the one to send out the invitations.

 

We’re Never Making Homemade Valentines, and I’m Fine with That

homemade valentines

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What are your thoughts on homemade Valentines? Do your kids make them? And do they want to, or is it more a this-will-be-a-fun-thing-to-do-together mom idea?

When I think of the hassle of getting the supplies and then actually clearing a space on my table to work on this with my kiddos?

It’s not a pretty picture.

I guess I love the idea in an abstract way, but not in a realistic way. My kids would enjoy doing 3 – 4 of them and then would be done.

Isn’t it enough to get them to sit down and write out all those names?

Valentine’s Day used to be pretty simple. You child would bring a shoe box to school, decorate it there, and bring in the cards on the 14th.

There might be a simple class party with some cupcakes while the kids passed out their store-bought Valentines.

Are store-bought Valentines a thing of the past?

One year, my kids needed to bring their cards in a few days before Valentine’s Day.

For some reason, this was more stressful than it needed to be.

We really need all the time we can get. Typically, my kids write them out on the 11th or 12th.

Yes, that’s not really teaching my kids about time management, but it’s worked for us.

I finally ran out on February 10th to buy the Valentines. They passed out Star Wars cards the year before and wanted to again.

I usually opt for Target for these types of things as it is my all-around favorite store but I didn’t want to get sucked into the Target Vortex so I made a mad dash to Walmart.

Walmart didn’t have them. Instead of running to other stores I decided I needed to pick something.

So, while looking at the quantity per box and the price (need 23 and 24 per class so I’m not buying a box with 20 and buying three boxes) I choose Skittles.

The Skittles’ box included 25 cards plus one for the teacher (bonus!), and they were only $3 a box instead of others that were $5. They may have been a bit plain and lackluster, but they were just fine.

Both boys were fine with the Skittles’ cards and were already calculating how many extra Skittles packs they could eat.

My younger son asked if Skittles were gluten-free because of someone with allergies in his class (points for thoughtfulness).

Class lists of names

I love how the teachers always work hard to include everyone in the class.

They have always said, “If you choose to bring in Valentines, be sure to have one for everyone.” Love it!

My older son didn’t bring home a list of kids’ names in his class.

I’m not sure if that’s because he was sick and missed the note home or because teachers don’t pass out class lists in the older grades. Luckily (hopefully) he remembered all of his classmates’ names.

homemade valentines
Do your kids make homemade valentines?

The kids wrote out all of their Valentine’s Day cards that very night without argument or complaint! Success!

Homemade Valentines cards

I really was feeling very accomplished and forgot my guilt over not trying harder to get the Star Wars cards until I logged onto Facebook that evening before going to bed.

(Why do I do this at night only to not be able to fall asleep obsessing about this nonsense?)

I saw a friend from Maine post a picture of her children’s homemade Valentine’s.

It wasn’t a braggy post. It said:

All I gotta say is next year I’m buying Valentines!

Hello sanity! I loved it. She tried and acknowledged it wasn’t worth the effort. She’s going back to the tried and true way of buying them at the store and calling it good. She was humble and admitted the effort was too much and not worth it.

In the picture, there were craft supplies everywhere: scissors, ribbon and construction paper. It seemed they cut out some red paper and placed stickers on it and used some ink stamps to mark: You Rock, Valentine.

They used Pop Rocks. It was cute but not completely over-the-top.

And even that seemed to be too much for this mom. Bravo sanity!

Making Valentine’s must be a royal pain because after making five or six Valentines, it’s just not fun anymore. It’s more like a factory assembly line. The kids might think it’s fun in the beginning, but it gets old fast.

Overall, my impression of her Facebook post was that they worked hard on the cards. She didn’t post to show off. The cards were time consuming, and she seemed happy they were done.

Is buying Valentines taking the easy way out?

The next time I logged onto Facebook, I saw this woman’s post had 50 Likes and 9 Comments. I  read the first Comment which was:

Winnie is passing out prepackaged Strawberry Shortcake stickers. Yep, I’m one of those moms.

Ummmmm, sorry, but when did “one of THOSE moms” become someone who buys pre-packaged Valentine’s cards?

THOSE MOMS are the ones MAKING THOSE damn homemade cards, raising the bar for all of us.

The overachieving moms are Those Moms.

Why do we/they need to over-complicate this?

Shocked at homemade Valentines

Like most, my kids’ first experience with exchanging Valentine’s was in preschool.

I remember being STUNNED at the amount of HOMEMADE VALENTINE’S CARDS my BOTH my kids received.

I clearly remember thinking: Why would you bother making homemade Valentine’s when they are so cheap and easily accessible at the store?

A good 1/3 of the cards were handmade and homemade.

Truly, it never crossed my mind to have my kids make (READ: ME MAKE) Valentine’s cards. I could not get my mind around this idea.

I eagerly awaited the next year to see how many handmade valentines they received.

Maybe last year was a fluke? But again, it was a good 1/3 of them. This has happened every year.

Even today, years later, I’m still in shock over it. We literally count them each year (good fractions practice for the kids).

I never had the desire, much less thought to make them, ever, and like this year, am lucky to even get to the store to pick up a few boxes.

Homemade Valentines on Pinterest

And goodness knows, even though I’m not a frequent Pinterest-user (Who needs to feel even more overwhelmed and incompetent? I do not.) it would NEVER cross my mind to look up ideas to make them.

Kudos to you if you love making homemade valentines.

Does not making valentines make me a less-er mom?

I think not. Aren’t we busy enough?

Is There a Prize for Being the Busiest Person You Know?

being busy all the time

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Busy, busy, busy. We love to be busy. Even more than that, we love to tell others how busy we are. We pride ourselves on being busy. Somehow, if we’re not busy, we’re not enough.

It’s a difficult cycle and mindset to break. We live on deadlines, adrenaline and caffeine.

Too often, we feel like something is wrong if we don’t have a lot to do. Aren’t we all guilty of it?

We work at our jobs tirelessly while caring for our families. We run our kids from activity to activity. Often a last priority, we try to carve out some social time for ourselves. On top of that, we may also volunteer.

All of these things are important.

Yet, so much of what we do seems like thankless tasks. There’s cleaning house, laundry, errands and meal prep. But we have to do them all, and so we keep on doing them.

Yet, we often layer more and more things on top of our otherwise very busy lives.

It’s like that quote, If you want something done, give it to a busy person. And the more you do, the more you can do.

Relax? We can’t do that. There is much too much to do.

Having a busy mindset

Lately, it almost seems if we aren’t busy enough, something is wrong. Our lives are “less than” in some way. If we aren’t running our kids to after school activities and sports all over town, we aren’t doing enough.

We work and we volunteer in our community and at school, and we care for our kids and we just keep on going.

Sure, we don’t have a choice in a lot of things we do. But do we need to purposely take on new things? Why do we add more to our plate?

Can we just learn to say no?

We’re uncomfortable when we aren’t busy

Some of my very favorite people have gotten puppies (!) just when it seemed they were at a good place in their lives. Their kids were in school full time, and these once exhausted moms were finally seeming relaxed. Boom! They get a little pup… It’s almost like they didn’t know what to do with their extra time.

Maybe they felt like something was wrong if they weren’t running here and there.

It makes sense… really.

It’s very difficult to take an hour for yourself to read a book or watch a show you want to watch on Hulu or Netflix.

We do these things rarely, after Every Other Single Thing has been done. Which means at 9:30pm at night, you’re finally able to relax and are then too tired to enjoy it.

being busy all the time
It’s really hard to stop being busy.
Photo credit: Susanne Nilsson

So even when we might have a tiny bit of downtime, we fill it.

We overextend ourselves. We sign up to bake something for the bake sale, or we offer to take on a project at work.

Making time for ourselves

It’s difficult to schedule time for ourselves, even if it’s for an overdue haircut or to exercise.

We tend to cut things for ourselves first. Yet, that’s when we need it most.

Take care of yourself so you can take care of others.

It’s just like when the airlines instructs us to put on our own oxygen mask in the event of an emergency before putting them on our kids.

But we run here and there. Busyness becomes an addiction.

Often it’s impossible to sit still. Or to focus on just one thing on the computer instead of opening up browser after browser. Our minds race. There’s always something to do and something taking up our mental energy.

While our husbands can spend a Saturday surfing online, we are fluttering around doing housework and errands and tackling our huge to do lists. And even when we finish 10 things on that list, it wouldn’t feel like it was enough.

Sometimes we take out our stress on our kids by nagging them.

It’s difficult not to be busy these days. We have instant answers online. Many families have more than one car. Opportunities abound and await. It’s a vicious cycle.

Posting about being busy

Another way being busy feeds on itself is we post about it.

We get to tell everyone in Facebookland about the four soccer games, two dance recitals and three baseball games we went to that weekend.

Sure, I do it do. I might phrase it up in a more relevant context by commenting with something like: “No, my son can’t go because he has a baseball tournament that weekend.”

Or “Darn, why did the teacher assign that at-home project now? (My great child) already has six commitments this week. We don’t need a project too.”

Getting attention from being busy

We are all busy. Many of us can’t help but start to establish our identities based on how busy we are and how involved in activities our kids are.

Yet, there’s no glory in winning the I’m the Busiest award.

 

 

 

 

 

What Do You Think About Paying Kids for Good Report Cards?

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Hmm…. This question about whether or not paying kids for good report cards is a good idea is a tricky one. For some kids, this might be a big motivation.

For others, it’s not necessary. It’s sort of like chores. There are just some things that kids are supposed to do.

Do you pay for good grades?

Once kids get to a certain age, starting around 8 or 9 years old, depending on the child, there are just some givens. Typically, this would include:

  • Learning to choose healthy food and drinks
  • Showering, brushing teeth, other grooming
  • Doing their best in school
  • Keeping up their bedroom if they are lucky enough to have one (sometimes we take this for granted)
  • Helping out with chores and household duties
  • Learning about honesty, trustworthiness, responsibility, sportsmanship, etc.
  • Learning how to be a good friend

Paying kids for good report cards

When you start paying kids to do what they are supposed to do anyway, what happens?

Most times, if they were already high achieving, they will continue to do well. For children who might be borderline between two grades, paying them for A’s and B’s would motivate them a bit to work harder to get the reward.

paying kids for good grades
Paying kids for good grades may be motivating for some

In some households, kids already have most everything they would possibly want and need. In these instances, money might not be a big motivator.

Yet, in other homes, it might work better. What’s most likely a determinate is if children are responsible for using their own money for things. In these cases, giving kids a way to earn money is important.

They can’t save up for that video game if they have zero access to funds. However, if it’s a household in which kids can get whatever they want — even if it’s not for a birthday or holiday gift — then it’s most likely less motivating.

Ways to pay for good grades

Paying kids money

Paying kids for good grades could mean actually paying them a certain dollar amount per grade.

As an example, for every A they may get $5 – $10. For a B grade, you may give them $3 – $5.

We know a family with kids in middle school and high school who pays $100 for every A, $75 for every B, and $50 for every C. Is that extra $50 worth the difference between getting a C and an A?

Do you want to put a value on grades?

Going out for a celebration

There are also other rewards, such as going out for a celebration because of a good report card. Perhaps the child gets to pick a favorite restaurant or go out for ice cream.

Other ideas for good grades could be they go on a special outing, like to an amusement park, bowling, trampoline park, etc.

Letting kids pick out a toy or game

Maybe the child gets to buy a toy or game when they get a good report card. Some parents motivate children with new sports equipment or shoes they may need for an upcoming season.

Buying kids clothing items

Preteens and teens may be motivated by new clothing, a purse or backpack, a jacket, expensive shoes or boots, etc.

One-time rewards for good grades

For kids who need that extra push one quarter, trimester or semester, some parents might reward their kids with a new phone or iPad, bicycle, trampoline, vacation to a water park, skiing, etc.

In these instances, even a child “who has everything” might be motivated to work harder.

Businesses who reward students for good report cards

There are certain businesses who give rewards to students with good report cards. For example, a child would bring his/her report card to the counter at an arcade place. The business gives game tokens for every A and B on the report card.

Restaurants may give the child a free kid’s meal or dessert. A bowling alley might give them a free game for a certain amount of A grades. There’s a family amusement park who gives the kids a free go-kart ride and tokens for their batting cages for A and B grades.

Teachers reward students

In elementary school, many teachers motivate students with candy, tickets to go toward a larger prize, extra recess time, a class party or movie, etc.

Teachers typically use incentives throughout the school year, in advance of report card time. (Come report card time, it’s too late, right?!)

Does paying kids for good grades motivate them?

Barring any learning challenges and disabilities, in most cases, it’s correct to assume kids should be getting good grades. So does rewarding them for good report cards motivate them?

In instances where kids buy the things they want, yes, it must be a good motivator. In other homes, when it’s not a treat to go out on an outing or to get a new Lego set or video game, it may be inconsequential.

What do you do? Do you pay for good report cards and reward good grades? Do you think it helps to motivate your child? Is it motivating to your child to earn a certain amount of money for each A and B grade?

 

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