{"id":1139,"date":"2018-02-17T10:59:41","date_gmt":"2018-02-17T17:59:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/?p=1139"},"modified":"2024-04-11T11:11:17","modified_gmt":"2024-04-11T18:11:17","slug":"shes-competing-but-youre-not-playing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/shes-competing-but-youre-not-playing\/","title":{"rendered":"She&#8217;s Competing but You&#8217;re Not Playing"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This might sound weird, but have you ever had the feeling that someone is competing with you?<\/p>\n<p>Or that someone &#8212; aka a fellow mom &#8212; is overly interested in what you, your kids, or family are doing?<\/p>\n<p>Moms competing is a real thing. There&#8217;s even a name: Competitive Mom Syndrome.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps this is the person who rarely, if ever, <a href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/withholding-likes-on-facebook-why-some-moms-wont-press-like\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">will<\/a> Like or Comment on your Facebook posts.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Competitive_Mom_Syndrome\"><\/span>Competitive Mom Syndrome<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_65 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-light-blue ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/shes-competing-but-youre-not-playing\/#Competitive_Mom_Syndrome\" title=\"Competitive Mom Syndrome\">Competitive Mom Syndrome<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/shes-competing-but-youre-not-playing\/#Moms_competing_with_you\" title=\"Moms competing with you\">Moms competing with you<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/shes-competing-but-youre-not-playing\/#Women_playing_mind_games\" title=\"Women playing mind games\">Women playing mind games<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/shes-competing-but-youre-not-playing\/#Social_mind_games_on_social_media\" title=\"Social mind games on social media\">Social mind games on social media<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/shes-competing-but-youre-not-playing\/#Consider_the_source\" title=\"Consider the source\">Consider the source<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n<p>This is the person who will rarely pay you or your kids a compliment. She might just &#8220;forget&#8221; <a href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/thanks-for-inviting-me-but-i-cant-be-bothered-to-rsvp\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">to RSVP<\/a> to your child&#8217;s party.<\/p>\n<p>Strangely, you may even feel this Certain Someone is sort of noticing you on social media.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m only on Facebook &#8212; goodness knows that eats up enough time &#8212; I can&#8217;t imagine being on other platforms like Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, Vine, and Instagram too.<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;ve felt it: that feeling that someone knows what I&#8217;m up to. This person may play psycho mind games or gossip. At times, she may be rude (subtle or overt).<\/p>\n<p>These social mind games, in social media and in real life, are very interesting.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1191\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1191\" style=\"width: 490px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-1191 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Theyre-competing-but-youre-not-playing-500x285.jpg\" alt=\"competing competition\" width=\"500\" height=\"285\" srcset=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Theyre-competing-but-youre-not-playing-500x285.jpg 500w, https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Theyre-competing-but-youre-not-playing.jpg 550w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1191\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">She&#8217;s competing but you&#8217;re not playing<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Moms_competing_with_you\"><\/span>Moms competing with you<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Have you ever been in a competition with someone but didn&#8217;t know you were in one?<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s how it is with this person I know.<\/p>\n<p>Luckily, I moved hundreds of miles away, so it&#8217;s no longer an in-my-face issue.<\/p>\n<p>The situation still exists on Facebook though.<\/p>\n<p>I want to scream: My family and I aren&#8217;t in competition with you and your family!<\/p>\n<p>We never were, and we never will be. Please turn your attention elsewhere.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Women_playing_mind_games\"><\/span>Women playing mind games<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>The older I get, the more I recognize that many people play mind games.<\/p>\n<p>One would think that as we age, we would become less competitive with each other, more sure of ourselves, and just overall happy for others&#8217; successes and achievements.<\/p>\n<p>Wouldn&#8217;t you rather someone do well than experience hard times? A rising tide lifts all boats, and all that?<\/p>\n<p>As I watched <em>Orange Is the New Black<\/em> on Netflix, there was a flashback scene I actually rewound to watch again.<\/p>\n<p>This scene was with Piper and her friend Polly.<\/p>\n<p>Piper was sitting on a bed in Polly&#8217;s room and said something like, &#8220;Is it bad if I feel a little jealous of you?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Polly said, &#8220;No. That means I&#8217;m winning.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I think of that now whenever a mom is rude or seems to be competing.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe she is jealous.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe she is just competitive and needs all the focus.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Something is bringing out the insecurities in her that has nothing to do with me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Social_mind_games_on_social_media\"><\/span>Social mind games on social media<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Unfortunately, social mind games are here to stay, especially among women.<\/p>\n<p>Sure, this sort of stuff happened decades ago, but it wasn&#8217;t as obvious.<\/p>\n<p>There were social snubs and rude comments but all of this, more or less, happened in person.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn&#8217;t as always noticeable&#8230;. People couldn&#8217;t intentionally leave others out of Facebook tags and other social media tagging.<\/p>\n<p>Now you know when you <a href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/not-being-invited\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">aren&#8217;t invited<\/a> to something.<\/p>\n<p>You know when someone <a href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/someone-unfriending-you\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">unfriends you or doesn&#8217;t accept your friend request<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Consider_the_source\"><\/span>Consider the source<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>It is interesting and speaks volumes about their character and who they deem worthy and important and in their circle.<\/p>\n<p>When I see someone snubbing someone or someone is snubbing\u00a0me, at first I am appalled, and then I remember the OITNB scene and think maybe she is threatened in some way.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe I&#8217;m the clueless one giving Likes and social praise.<\/p>\n<p>Someone is going on a fabulous vacation or looks awesome in a dress&#8230;. When they get 300 Likes does that really matter to me? Does it negatively impact me in any way?<\/p>\n<p>We aren&#8217;t in competition.<\/p>\n<p>We are all busy leading <a href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/prize-being-busiest-person-you-know\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">our<\/a> own very busy lives. Does giving them praise (or positive Comments and Likes) take anything away from me? No, it doesn&#8217;t. Really, it doesn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This might sound weird, but have you ever had the feeling that someone is competing with you? Or that someone &#8212; aka a fellow mom &#8212; is overly interested in what you, your kids, or &#8230; <a title=\"She&#8217;s Competing but You&#8217;re Not Playing\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/shes-competing-but-youre-not-playing\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about She&#8217;s Competing but You&#8217;re Not Playing\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1191,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1139"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1139"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1139\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1191"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/socialmum.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}