Weight: 152.4
Lots of night eating… 🙁
I love taking pictures. None of them are great because they’re just from my phone but I still take hundreds a month usually. Last night was one of my son’s prom night. I wanted pics at our house. Just a few. He was rushing getting ready so I should have just forgo them.
We quickly snapped one or two with him and my husband and then him and me. I called out (I think I was the one who called out) for my other son who was gaming to join us. I wanted a pic with the brothers. He was gaming and my other son was in a hurry to leave.
This is a bad combo. Stress. Anxiety. Not coming immediately when called. Not being in control. These are things my husband cannot tolerate. So he became undone, immediately. Yelling and swearing and completely overreacting.
I Didn’t Need to Take the Crappy Pictures
I didn’t need the pictures that badly. I really didn’t. I went to get the corsage from the fridge. Prom Son was getting his stuff. Gaming Son finally came out and must have said something — it doesn’t matter what it was — if it wasn’t “sorry” then it was backtalk — and husband railed into him.
So much so that my face must have reacted because then Gaming Son sort of turned on me and said something. I don’t remember what. I just remember saying, “I’m not mad at you.”
Then Prom Son was getting the remote and car keys and I was heading first out the back door, carrying the corsage. Gaming Son was behind me and said I can’t wait to leave for college. And I felt so so bad.
Of course he can’t. I don’t blame him.
I put the corsage in the front seat and didn’t now whether or not to proceed with pictures. There was nowhere to go… the garage was open and the sun was blinding. I took a pic of the three of them. Then Gaming Son took a pic of the three of us. I couldn’t even make myself fake smile.
As usual, my husband was unfazed, acting like everything was normal. Not like he just ruined Prom Son’s send off.
This is how he acts after his outbursts. There’s no “I’m sorry.” There doesn’t seem to be any self-reflection… changing for the future.
I wished Prom Son well and walked off. My husband stayed to discuss about curfew and whatever else. I was so very sad. Not knowing what to do, I started making dinner and husband left. I was glad.
He must have gone to the store because he came back with a spray can. I wish he left and went to his parent’s house. They live two hours away. I wish he’d leave and come back in a few days or preferably, longer.
My kids are fairly used to the outbursts so I’m sadly hoping they were unfazed. But this was a big night for my son, and it didn’t need to be like this.
We have lots of kid activities again today. We’ll see what happens.
Keep up with all the days: