Feeling really disappointed that the position my husband applied for didn’t happen. They chose to hold off right now. It was for a high level interim position. I feel really badly for him because I know he would be exceptional in the role. It’s also unfortunate because we definitely could use the income.
I tried to be supportive. He got the call from the recruiter when we were on our way to our son’s sporting event. Afterwards, he went out the the grocery store (which was really nice) and came back with fried food.
Obviously, I’m not a health professional here but I have noticed in recent years a direct correlation between my husband eating poorly and his mood. After he ate, he was working on financial aid stuff with my son. This is a stressful time; I get it.
Can’t Make a College Decision Yet
A few FAFSA offers came in. Offers probably isn’t the right word but combined with the merit scholarships, it’s sort of like comparing the bottom line offers. How much will each of these colleges cost to attend?
So I feel badly for my son that he is in this situation of feeling like we are begging for money from the schools. If I were him, I would be thinking: “Why isn’t Dad working like every other dad I’ve ever known?”
That may sound sexist but I do think he should have been doing more than he has been doing for the last 10 years. He has been taking the easy way out in the name of “entrepreneurship”.
I was so upset meeting out with friends the other night looking around that table and thinking to myself how every single one of there husbands is able to provide for their families.
I am not apologizing for how I feel on this topic. I have worked my butt off and contributed a ton of money to this marriage. Before we were married, I also gave us a HUGE LEG UP with what I came to the relationship with.
He has never valued any of it. He did work hard for three years in a business. Unfortunately, there were some issues there as well. Had I known he would go on to loaf the next 10 years, I would have insisted we relocate and stay there. Instead, he wanted to buy websites but never treated like a job. We bought them, and he thought they would be money-making machines.
I’m so mad we wasted so much money on websites years ago (before he worked for three years and made money) and then afterwards (the last 10 years).
Back to the Yelling and Food Correlation
So back to the food… He started yelling at our son while they were working on college stuff. I have stayed far away from this because my presence would add a ton of additional stress for my husband.
But in his ranting fit, yelling at our son (who stayed amazingly calm as usual), I kept thinking what a hypocrite he is. His resume is filled with descriptions of his “emotional intelligence” and “leadership” and overall his ability to handle difficult situations, etc. He paints himself as this master communicator… what a joke! He prints out sheets with tips on how to do this and that and makes our son read them.
Sort of like his aggressive driving, it’s another: Do as I say and not as I do.
He’s a joke.
Then this morning, he’s doing passive aggressive things like not replacing the trash can liner and leaving it in the middle of our small kitchen, leaving the toilet seat lid up, and walking around farting.
Umm… these things speak more to his character than they hurt me. I lose more respect for him with each of these actions.
Maybe this is the best he is. Maybe this is it.
One thing is for certain, if/when we get divorced, I will pity the woman he ends up with.
If he would have gotten that awesome job in October, maybe. He would have been a better person to be around — he needs to lead and be in charge. He would have probably felt better mentally too — accomplishing something. Because he would have had a purpose, he would not be meddling in our kids’ lives nonstop, hovering over them, etc.
Also, I know it would have changed the way I view him. I’d like to think I would have respected him. He would be working hard, providing for our family… at long last!
Back to me now, and what are my next steps… especially because I do not see myself with him long-term unless he finds something soon, and we can turn things around.
I need to get some work done. Tomorrow, I need to write more about what to do to earn money. What to focus my time on…