I had a wine and cheese and bread party of one last night. I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in a really long time. It’s my preference to not drink in front of my kids. One time, I overdid it, and I know it bothered them seeing me that way. It’s hugely embarrassing and painful for me to even think about it. Their mother was likely unpredictable. It won’t happen again.
Even before then, I was more of an eater than a drinker. Through the years though, I would have a beer (before becoming gluten-free) or wine if people came over. I was an occasional, social drinker.
Life before kids
Before kids, my husband and I would go to wine tastings sometimes. We bought fairly decent wine and enjoyed it with friends and family at home. When we would visit his family, sometimes we’d go to vineyards and wineries in the area.
Just water, please
But over the years, we stopped. Our world is small. We don’t have people ever anymore. I don’t usually drink when we are out at parties.
Even having a glass of wine at night isn’t a habit. I’m also hyper-concerned with being able to drive if my kids are out and need help or a ride. Also, I don’t want to feel more crappy than usual.
And I’m an eater. I would rather consume my calories in the form of food.
I imagine this will change when my kids and I are no longer living under the same roof.
Home alone and that good bottle of wine
But still, last night was very nice. A friend here goes to California at least once a year, maybe more often, with another couple here. Three of the four adults in that couple are doctors and the other is a successful person in education. I say this to say they have more means than I do right now.
One of the moms brought / bought / gave me two bottles of wine several years ago because I helped drive her son a bunch during one season of a high school sport. She didn’t have to do that; it was very generous.
I drank one of the bottles around three years ago when my kids and husband were on a camping trip. (One of the other times I was home alone for a week. That happened twice.)
But it’s been years since I’ve had the house like this, and yesterday, even though I was super tired, I decided to crack it open after my walk.
Making it special
I lit a candle which is something my husband doesn’t allow. That sounds strong but it’s been since we were married. (I vividly remember having a huge Pier One cranberry candle in my townhome before we were married.) I don’t even think about it, and I don’t rebel against it because he feels very strongly about it.
I have battery operated candles my kids gave me one Christmas from Costco, and I love them.
But once I was joking with my stepdaugher that when he leaves to go visit them, I would light a candle. So I finally did. It’s a candle she gave me the night before her wedding like she gave to the rest of the moms and maybe bridesmaids as well. So it’s meaningful. I don’t think I have other candles.
Oh I do! One of my friends from out of state sent me an I wish we lived next store or something like that. I have yet to light it.
So I set out a goblet that I had to rinse off because of all the dust. I had maybe 1/6 of a hunk of mozzarella cheese and a few slices of gluten-free bread that I put on a nice plate.
Trying to savor vs multitasking
I tried to be in the moment and savor the wine though I did spend some time reading some TikTok stuff (wasting my time). I also have been writing out some thoughts/manifestations.
I was also thinking of when I was first married (only married once; same hubby) and how we enjoyed wine and good times and were in love and not annoying to each other. I was thinking about those couples who go to CA together and how they are a great couple and family friends. and how I just never really had that for years with my husband.
I had a nice time reflecting on what used to be and what I see in those couples that I envy now.
I’m loving writing down my income ideas and plans and how they are changing through the months.
Then I watched the cutest movie on Hulu. I wish I knew the name. It popped up as a suggestion. It was a romantic comedy. Super cute. Great night!
Only had a glass
I now am going to have to finish this bottle before everyone is home on Saturday and before it goes bad. I’m going to hopefully be having a wine Facetime or Zoom with my friend in California. So that will be one way to enjoy it with a friend.
Read Day 23 and Day 24 to hear about my other home-alone adventures.