No Really, I Will Never Weigh this Much Again

That’s it! I’m doing Whole30! My goal is to get back into my size 8 jeans. As a late 40-something mom, I am obsessed with chocolate, despise working out and have hip pain. How do I weigh this much?

I am truly scared to weigh myself. I went out on my birthday in September to get new jeans. After spending months wearing elastic-banded skirts — I live in hot Nevada — I truly had no idea that I could no longer fit into my size 8 and standby size 10 jeans anymore.

How do I weigh this much?

I didn’t notice the weight gain at all — elastic is very forgiving. In all the boiling summer months, I only wore expandable waistbands or flowy dresses; I didn’t wear my shorts once!

Buying larger sized jeans

So when I went shopping, I was stunned that I was now fitting/squashing into size 12 jeans.

I bought three pairs, washed and dried them, praying they wouldn’t shrink. Size 12 might not seem like a big deal but it was to me as I’ve never been this size before. It’s scary how the pounds just creep on without us noticing.

Back to my new jeans…. I didn’t cut the tags off one pair in the hopes I would lose weight and return them for a size 10. That never happened.

Here we are in January, and I went shopping again. The jeans I bought in September were cropped, boyfriend type and aren’t practical for the colder days now.

Today I bought three more pairs of jeans, unfortunately, all size 12 again! My goal was to get regular-length jeans but I found an inexpensive pair of culottes — who even knew that word still existed? Then I bought two other pairs that fit really well, as well as size 12 jeans can fit anyway.

Using a scale as motivation

I asked for a new scale for Christmas. Last week I put it on the floor in front of my refrigerator. I stood on it one time. I weighed in a 146.6. Now for a 5’3″ person, that isn’t good; however, I expected it to be much worse.

One of my {many} problems is I love chocolate. Often, I graze on it all day, eating it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I buy bags of it and eat the entire bag while “working” on my computer doing real (paid) work, volunteer work for my kids’ school, or wasting time on Facebook, looking up random things, reading political articles and opinions, returning emails, and spending time online shopping.

It’s so important to have a plan for the day.

I don’t like to exercise

My tennis shoes are old. I don’t have the cute workout clothes. Working out isn’t something I ever did regularly. I’m getting older and more sedentary in general.

And once I moved to Nevada and had all tile floors — easier to deal with the dust and to see the critters — my hips started and continue to pain me. Therefore, I’m not exercising.

But I know I need to exercise. I need to build the muscle I once took for granted. I’m over 40! It’s not going to get any easier. How do I weigh this much!? I know I should exercise but I really don’t feel like it, and I don’t want to get hurt.

Maybe hand weights will help. My husband bought some 15 pound weights which I could barely lift without feeling like I was going to hurt myself. Two days ago I bought two hand weights that are 2 pounds each. Even those surprised me: Think what an extra two pounds does to our bodies.

Unfortunately, I haven’t used them yet.

How do I weigh this much

I haven’t really slept well for 11.5 years — aka exactly how old my oldest child is. I used to be a beautiful sleeper until he was born.

Another real deal problem is I moved from the southeast where I had a very large home. I used my Fitbit and would have 1,500 steps just doing the usual tasks of feeding and dressing my kids and walking them to the bus.

doing Whole30

I’d have 1,500 steps before 8:30am! Just in the course of doing chores and walking up and down the stairs 20x a day, I’d easily have 9,000 – 10,000 steps a day, and more if I did errands.

Then we moved. I spent a month road-tripping and moving across the country and barely walked anywhere. Then I spent two months in a one bedroom rental in a zillion-degree Welcome to Nevada boiling summer so I wasn’t walking or anything.

(Enter tile floors and hip problems too).

{My list of excuses continues….}

Then I moved into a modest 2,200 square foot home — without any stairs! — it’s too hot here to have a second floor — and my steps decreased to about 2,000 steps/day. My little place is small, and I can walk from the kitchen to the living room in four steps, to the bedroom in about 15 steps. Really, to get even those 2,000 steps is an accomplishment!

So basically, couple my age, my hips, my chocolate addiction, my computer/sit-on-my-rear job, my exercise aversion (hips or heat being the excuses) and my small living space, my easy-to-wear elastic skirt-wearing habit, and I have gained 20 pounds since moving to Nevada one and a half years ago.

Packaged foods

Things are sure different. We have convenience foods and drive thru’s and snacking is almost a meal. It’s hard when we are trying to find healthy foods to feed our families.

Body holding onto weight

Hang out at this weight so my body forces me to maintain it? Weigh myself now and see I weigh a lot more than the 146.6 pounds I weighed a week ago? (Thinking about how much chocolate — two batches of brownies, container of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream, 12 not-so-fun-sized Almond Joys all come to mind — I ate since then isn’t making me race to the scale.)

Deciding to do Whole30

Really, I must do something. Doing Whole30 will be just as good as doing anything else. I really like there is an end date to it as well. It’s “just” 30 days. Surely I can do it.

I want to be healthy and active. It’s important for me to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see.

Gaining weight and doing something about it

I’m going to do Whole30 to prove to myself I can do it and to also see what happens.

I will weigh in tomorrow morning, before drinking water or eating, and see where I’m at. And I will proceed from there. Won’t you join me in doing Whole30?

Update: I did Whole30! Learn more about it:

Starting Whole30
Whole30 daily log
Day 26 of Whole30
Meal planning on Whole 30
Things I learned on Whole30