The Me Toos, Social Climbers and Popular People Being Included on Facebook

Most of us want to be included on Facebook posts. And when lots of people are tagged, it may hurt to be excluded from these posts, especially if it’s a party you attended.

Why weren’t you tagged when everyone else was?

But sometimes you’ll be humored seeing social climbers and already-popular people clamoring to fit in on Facebook.

It happens often. And yes, it’s sort of funny using the term popular as an adult.

But if you think about women you know, especially if you have kids in school, you will see there are some moms who are still, well, popular.

And seeing it on Facebook is amusing. It’s always out there.

There’s a group of my friends who will post a code phrase when we see this. Then it’s a little game for the rest of us to Like that Comment.

It’s our way of acknowledging this Me Too behavior and how people really feel the need to be included on Facebook.

How people make themselves included in Facebook posts

Once you are aware of this behavior, you will easily see examples.

Perhaps these moms feel left out. Or they want to be part of the group. Or they want everyone on Facebook to know they really were invited to that party.

Really, one of the many reasons we love Facebook is so we can show off about how busy we are and how we have all these great things going on.

So to not be included in something that everyone else is invited to or tagged in, can be somewhat (first-world) devastating.

Here’s how you can spot it in Facebook posts:

  1. Find a group of women in a photo that someone posted.
  2. Then look at the Comments.
  3. Give it some time and inevitably you will find one or two women who want to be sure that even though they weren’t pictured and/or tagged in the post, everyone knows they too were invited.

Being included in Facebook posts

Recently, we saw a woman post on Facebook about her friends’ reunion of sorts.

This is a group of four women who grew up together and now live probably within 2-3 hours of each other. Several times a year, they post about whatever they are doing — shopping, lunch, dinner, etc.

In this instance, they were together for their annual weekend overnight outing: Thursday to Sunday.

One of these women posted the first night with a picture of just three of them. The fourth woman, who apparently was still on a family vacation, chimed in she couldn’t wait to join them the next day.

Then, the next night, SHE made sure to Post she was with the four of them for everyone in Facebookland to see: Yes, we are all reunited. She WAS invited, and here is the proof!


Were you invited?

We saw this several months ago in a Facebook post for twin girls who had a birthday party. Someone posted a picture with only some of the girls and must have tagged only those moms.

Well, some of these moms who weren’t tagged wanted to be sure everyone knew their child was invited too. Some were even at the party, they just weren’t in that particular photo.

Oh, the outrage at not being acknowledged and included!

Reading the Facebook Comments was humorous:

  • We had the best time.
  • Happy Birthday! What a great party!
  • So glad our girls are besties!
  • Sorry we missed it!
  • Happy Birthday E and T! We’ll celebrate another time!

Yes, okay, we get it. Your child was invited too.

I’m better friends with this person than you are

Another boy had a party a month later, and it was more of the same. This time, with a quick glance, it seemed the 15 or so moms tagged were all at the party, or at least their kids were.

Meaning, whoever posted the picture tagged everyone who attended. Bragging about kids’ parties on Facebook

However, in the Comments, a few moms needed to let everyone know how “close” their family was to the party hostess’s family… more so than the others.

My friends and I chuckled over Comments such as:

  • We JUST LOVE {so and so}.
  • We love being a part of your great family and seeing the kids grow up.
  • So happy to share our lives together.

Again, we get it. Why are they falling over themselves to point out their right to be at the party? What drama over a kid’s birthday party.

Say your Happy Birthday if you feel you must — even though you probably already did at the party — and save your not-so-discreet Comments for another time.

Needing attention on Facebook

I’ll set the scene for this next example.

There’s a very suburban neighborhood (really, as suburban as you can get) where the women get together for moms’ night out, bunco nights, movies, and vacations.

Their kids play together all the time, etc.

One of the woman posted to her own Facebook wall:

I’m so bummed I can’t go out with 27 of my friends today. Hope you have a great time!

It was interesting seeing this post.

It was as if she anticipated no one would tag her in the forthcoming Facebook post for the big shindig that evening.

She wanted to cut people’s thoughts off — Where is Mary? Why didn’t they invite Mary? What did Mary do that they didn’t invite her? Is someone mad at Mary? — in advance.

What was humorous though is that she hardly got any Comments or Like/emotion clicks.

One person was kind enough to commiserate with her and asked her why she couldn’t go.

Mary told her she would “Message her offline.”

being included on Facebook
Being included on Facebook

Oh, the big secret story….

Why couldn’t Mary make it?

What’s so big and secretive in her life that she couldn’t post it to her wall even though she is the one who started the post to begin with?!

Why, oh why, did she feel compelled to put this on Facebook in the first place?

It’s like a Cliffhanger post; aren’t those days over?

Tagging some moms and not others

Sure, you were cool enough to be invited to the party and you even went. Of course you want someone to tag you as being there.

No one wants to be left out and forgotten; everyone wants to be included and acknowledged.

But what’s interesting is how people perceive their social status might drop if they don’t attach themselves to that party and that invitation.

Even people who are already popular think this.

Because to the rest of Facebookland, it will look like no one invited you. Your social commerce will decrease. And we can’t have that.