When someone doesn’t accept your friend request on Facebook, it’s upsetting. You put yourself out there and were ignored or denied. You have a right to be hurt, embarrassed and mad. Someone not accepting your friend request can mean different things depending on the situation. Here’s what to consider and what to do. Please read all of this post before doing anything you will regret.
Someone not accepting your friend request on Facebook
Before reacting, you need to take a few days. Things always seem worse right away. With technology, we are so used to everything happening immediately. Just because someone doesn’t accept your friend request right away, doesn’t mean she won’t.
You may be someone who logs onto Facebook often, but you don’t know how often others do. In addition, even if the person you sent a request to did log on after you sent her a friend request, it doesn’t mean she had time to accept it.
From personal experience, there are times I log on Facebook quickly for one thing, and then log off. Just because someone didn’t accept your friend request soon after you sent it doesn’t mean they never will. Hang tight, and keep reading.
How do you know if someone has declined your friend request?
To know for sure your Facebook friend request was denied, you can search the person’s name. Once you are in their profile, look at the big profile picture and go to the bottom right of that picture. It will say Add Friend or Friend Request Sent.
- If it says “Add Friend,” that means the person denied your friendship request.
- If it says “Friend Request Sent,” that means they haven’t done anything yet. They may or may not have seen it.
Why did someone not accept my friend request
As with someone unfriending you, most likely, you will never know the reasons for someone not accepting your friend request. However, it is normal to want to know the reason someone didn’t accept your friend request. You reached out to that person for a reason. Perhaps you just met them, live in the same neighborhood, have a lot of friends in common, are relatives, work together, or want to get to know her better.
For whatever reason, you put yourself out there. No one wants to be rejected. When you send a Facebook friend request to someone who doesn’t accept, it’s awkward. It’s especially awkward if you will see this person face-to-face.
Why is someone not accepting my friend request
There are reasons someone might not accept a friend request, especially right away. Keeping in mind every situation is different, here are some common reasons:
1) The person may not have seen it.
You may not know if the person you sent a Friend Request to is a person who logs onto Facebook daily. If she is among your mutual friends, you may have an idea of how frequently she’s on Facebook. But it’s difficult to know for sure. People are busy and have things going on we don’t know about.
2) The person saw it but didn’t have time to accept it.
She may have seen your Friend Request but wasn’t in a position to Accept Friend so she didn’t. Or perhaps he was on his cell phone, clicked Accept Friend, but it didn’t go through. (Personally, I prefer using my laptop for Facebook because there were times I inadvertently pressed Like or something in error from my phone.)
3) The person forgot about it.
The person may have forgotten about your friend request. The good news, is they will see it again when someone else sends them a Friend Request.
When you send someone a friend request, they will receive a notification on the top right of their screen. It’s next to the Create button. It tells them they have a new friend request. Once they click on it, it won’t be highlighted again. Therefore, if the person doesn’t accept your friend request right then, they won’t be reminded again. They will have to remember you sent them a request, and purposely go back to accept your friend request.
At any time, you can go to the Friend Requests button, and click to add friend.
The only way for this person to see the friend request is to manually go in and see all the people who have asked her to be friends. The requests/people remain there until you Remove Friend Request. You do this by pushing the Delete button instead of the Accept button.
4) The person is taking a break from Facebook.
Another reason someone wouldn’t have accepted your friend request is if she is taking a break from Facebook. This is something people do, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not.
Someone may be busy at work or on vacation and not be checking Facebook as often. If she’s not checking Facebook notifications, she wouldn’t know she received a friend request.
You can search her name in the top bar to see if she comes up, and if you can see her wall. Look to see if she posted anything recently. If she did, then she may have seen your friend request. However, if she has her Facebook privacy settings set high, you won’t be able to see if she posted unless you are Facebook friends. You will see an icon that says Friend Request Sent. There’s nothing more you can do.
If you have mutual Facebook friends, you may see if she Liked or commented on one of your mutual friends’ posts.
5) The person is doing a power play.
This potential new Facebook friend may not want to accept your Friend Request right away. They may purposely be making you wait it out — hours, days, weeks — as a type of power play. They may feel they have a higher social standing than you do, and are “Oh so busy with their great lives,” they aren’t jumping at the chance to accept your request.
Yes, adults do power plays. Personally, I think this says a lot more about them than it does about you.
6) The person doesn’t want to appear too eager.
Perhaps this is a romantic interest, and the person doesn’t want to appear over-eager by accepting your Friend Request right away. Or maybe the person has a lower social standing than you do and are thrilled with the request, but doesn’t want to jump too quickly to accept it and look over-eager.
7) The person may only want a certain number of friends or certain types of Facebook friends.
What’s one more Facebook friend? That’s what many Facebook users likely think. Some people are actively trying to increase their number of Facebook friends. If you are someone like this, it will seem very odd to you that someone wouldn’t automatically accept a friend request from someone they know.
However, among my 500 or so Facebook friends, I know for certain I have Facebook friends who have unusual-to-me behavior when it comes to who they want to be Facebook friends with.
- A local friend: Only wants to be Facebook friends with people she has no chance of seeing in real life. She would rather see them face-to-face over coffee. She literally unfriended all local people when she decided to do this and doesn’t accept any new local friends.
- A very private cousin who had her identity stolen in the 1990’s and still is very private: Is only Facebook friends with 20 people.
- One of my cousins: He is only friends with 50 or less people to make it more meaningful.
- A friend of mine who moved out of state: She unfriended everyone who she didn’t see herself ever talking to again. To me, that’s the reason you would stay be Facebook friends with someone. But to her, she just didn’t care and cut them.
- Former coworker: Only wanted to be in touch with “positive people.”
It’s important to realize people use Facebook in different ways. Some people may not want to add new friends. This likely will have nothing to do with you.
You can look to see how many Facebook friends the person you sent a request to has to see if you may have sent a request to one of these types of people. They typically will not have a lot of Facebook friends.
8) The person doesn’t like you in that way (romantically) or doesn’t want to be friends with you for some unknown reason.
If it’s a romantic thing, the person won’t accept your Facebook friend request if they aren’t as interested as you are. Remember, things aren’t always as they seem. This may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with whatever is happening with them.
The same is true for non-romantic situations. I’ve had people not accept my request yet their kids have come to my house for a playdate, and we have a texting relationship. People are weird. As difficult as it is to not obsess about it, don’t. It’s their loss.
What to make of all this wondering
Take a breath and consider the above. What is your intuition telling you? Do you think the person is purposely ignoring you or going to deny your request? Do you think he or she will ever accept it? Ponder this for a few moments.
The biggest takeaway here is you really won’t know why someone doesn’t accept your friend request right away. Wait a week before getting upset about it. Hopefully by then, the person will have accepted it. If not, because so much time will have gone by, likely you won’t care as much. In the meantime, keep reading and know you are not alone in this.
What to do when someone doesn’t accept your Friend Request: NOTHING
You sent someone a friend request on Facebook, and they don’t accept it. That leaves you to wonder what’s going on.
Do not ask them about it. You shouldn’t mention it to anyone else either.
All you can do is hold your head high, try not to obsess about it, and above all, don’t reach out to them again via Facebook. You certainly don’t want to embarrass yourself further if the person purposely did not accept your friend request.
I know it’s difficult and hard not to obsess about it. It’s normal to feel confused, hurt, and mad. You might feel that way for a long time. It’s okay to have these feelings. You are NOT ALONE in perhaps being snubbed, blown off, forgotten about, power-played, and overall having this situation happen to you. Your reactions are normal.
Mutual friend doesn’t accept friend request: My experience
There’s a fellow mom in my small community who didn’t accept my Friend Request. What to do? She is someone more entrenched in the social scene than I am. She’s someone who seems to already have her friend group and isn’t seeking new friends.
Still, how hard is it to “Accept” a Friend Request? Especially given we have 25+ Mutual Friends. And we live in a small town where everyone knows everyone.
All the times we’ve seen each other, at the very least, we gave each other a smile and a hello. Oftentimes, more than that. It was a natural thing for me to reach out via Facebook. It was by no means a reach. (Does this sound like high school?!)
But she didn’t accept the request. It was quite maddening. I ran into her a few times when my request was lingering out there. I felt awkward but tried to appear normal.
It really bugged me she didn’t accept it; she’s active on Facebook. I see her tagged in many Mutual Friends’ posts. But I can’t say anything to anyone about it. My goal is to look like I don’t care.
Instead of letting that Friend Request hang out there — giving her more power if it’s a power play — after about three weeks, I removed my request.
My rational was that if she deleted it by mistake, she could easily send me a new request — but she didn’t. So now, any time Facebook offers up “People You May Know,” and I see her face, and her name pop up to “Add Friend,” I click the x on the upper right and remove her.
Whenever I see her in real life, I’m my polite, usual self. But deep down, I know to not engage further. She knows where to find me if she wants to. I never seek her out in conversation, never initiate texts, etc. Still, I am confident and friendly around her as I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of acting bothered by her not accepting my friend request.
Can you remind someone to accept your friend request
No, you can’t remind someone to accept your friend request. And please, to keep your reputation intact, do not reach out to this person. She may be snubbing you. There’s no need to contact or remind someone to accept your friend request. If someone doesn’t accept your request, move on.
You must maintain your pride and dignity at this point. Remember though, this person may not be doing anything to intentionally hurt you. You just never know.
If someone doesn’t accept your friend request, can you send them a new request
You may be wondering if someone doesn’t accept your friend request, can you send them a new request? PLEASE DON’T.
You can send them a new request if they declined your Facebook friend request. Meaning, Facebook will allow you to do this.
If it shows Friend Request Sent, you can’t send them a new request. Your request is pending. That means your friend request is still hanging out there.
Either way, if someone didn’t accept your Facebook friend request, do not resend the request. Nothing good will come from this. You will look desperate.
Don’t give them the satisfaction, and don’t embarrass yourself. If they don’t accept your request, forget it, and try to move on.
How do I know if someone accepted my friend request on Facebook
You will receive a Facebook notification when the person accepts your friend request. This person will also be added to your list of Facebook friends.
There have been a few times when I didn’t receive a Facebook notification when someone accepted my friend request. I saw they accepted because I saw them in my list of Facebook friends. You can also look up the person’s name, and you will see you are connected to them.
Another way to know if someone accepted your friend request is if you keep track of how many Facebook friends you have. Your number will increase by one each time someone accepts your friend request.
How do I know if someone didn’t accept my friend request on Facebook
The only way you will know if someone didn’t accept your friend request is if they hit “Delete” instead of “Confirm” when they saw your friend request.
- You can click on your Friend Requests icon. If they declined your friend request, you will see it there.
- If they didn’t confirm or decline your request — and your request is still out there — they didn’t accept it nor did they reject it. They’ve done nothing.
After awhile, you may assume someone who hasn’t confirmed your request is declining it, hasn’t seen it, or is still deciding whether to accept it.
Friend requests icon
To find the Friend Requests button on Facebook, log into your Facebook account. You will see the big search bar on the top. To the right of that, you will see your name, Home, Create. The next button is the Friend request icon.
This lights up when you have received a friend request. You can use it to track who has accepted or declined your requests.
How to send a friend request on Facebook
How to unfriend someone on Facebook
Someone not accepting friend request on Facebook
Social media is a wonderful way to stay in touch with hundreds of people. Facebook is awesome in so many ways. It gives us a way to connect to practically anyone we want to.
But it also has the power to impact our emotions. So many times our highs and lows are based on how many Facebook friends we have and how many Likes and comments we get on our posts.
When someone doesn’t accept our friend request, it’s hard to deal with. It makes it worse if this is a person who has a lot of mutual friends with you. It’s also tough if you will have to see this person in real life.
What to do when someone doesn’t accept your friend request on Facebook
If you won’t ever see this person in real life, don’t worry about it. You won’t have an awkward moment and won’t have to worry about talking with them and this being the elephant in the room.
If it’s a person who is seldom on Facebook, no worries. He or she probably didn’t see it. They don’t put a high priority on Facebook. It’s likely an oversight they didn’t accept your friend request.
If it’s someone with whom you have a lot of mutual friends and will see in real life, don’t do anything or say anything to them about it. Nothing good will come from you asking them about why they didn’t accept your friend request. Try not to obsess about it.
What all of these scenarios have in common is that they Require You To Do Nothing.
The bottom line when someone doesn’t accept your friend request is to do nothing. Say nothing.
How to deal with friends who don’t accept your friend request
It’s embarrassing when you have a friend who doesn’t accept your friend request. In this instance, the question is, “How good of friends are you?” If this is one of your best friends, then yes, say something. If not, say nothing.
What does it mean when someone doesn’t accept your friend request
If someone doesn’t accept your friend request, it means they don’t want to be friends with you on Facebook. It’s important to remember things aren’t always as they seem, so it’s easy to assume she is ignoring you. This may or may not be the case.
Not accepting your friend request
From experience, I know many people have a long list of friends they sent friend requests to and those people never responded. Years later, those friend requests are hanging out there. Chances are, those people never looked at their friend request icon through a laptop or desktop computer to see all the requests they have. You can only do so much through a mobile phone.
So try not to take it personally, especially if they are long-ago friends.
I know people who purposely want to limit how many Facebook friends they have. I have another friend who uses Facebook to stay in touch with people she doesn’t see in real, everyday life; she only has long-distance friends.
Friend request denied
Think about someone not accepting your friend request on Facebook. Yikes! It stings. What do you do? My advice is to do NOTHING. Don’t ask them why they didn’t accept your request. Don’t ask them why they denied your friend request. Please don’t ask them if they saw your friend request.
Focus on the friends you do have and who do want to connect with you. Try not to waste your energy and emotions on those who do not. (Yes, easier said than done. Next week it won’t be as important to you as it is now. Hang tight.)
Related: Not being invited
Remember that with Facebook, there is usually something to make you happy or something to make you sad and upset. Facebook rejection is real. Someone not accepting your friend request is a big Facebook problem we have to deal with. But try to focus on the positive: The people you are friends with and the Facebook friends you do have.
If someone sends you a friend request, do you automatically accept it? Or do you purposely wait and play mind games? Is there ever a reason you don’t accept a friend request? Do you accept all requests (assuming it’s not spam or a weird situation)? Leave your Comments below.