Oh my goodness; it happened again. I made a Facebook post about something great that happened to me career-wise,* and I found out again who my true (Facebook) friends are.
There were a surprising number of people who did not acknowledge my post.
Of course, we can’t and don’t all go around Liking every post we see; however, there are those certain people who just can’t give someone extra attention.
You know who they are.
They are the Facebook friends you have who, when something really good happens, are nowhere to be found on your post. They are purposely withholding Likes on Facebook.
At any given time, I have 3 – 5 Facebook friends like this. It’s almost become a little game. I post and watch to see if they will come around and acknowledge my success, but they mostly never do.
These Facebook friends will make some comments here and there on some of my neutral, generic posts. Sure, they might take the time to wish me a Happy Facebook Birthday, but that’s about it.
If a post has anything to do with anyone in my family having any sort of success or happiness, they are glaringly absent.
The Art of Withholding Likes on Facebook
Has it ever happened to you? You post something awesome, and you expect your Facebook friends to rally behind you with their support.
This support is in the social media form of Likes, nice Comments and other fan support. Many of them congratulate you and Like or Love your post.
But then there are some very obvious friends missing.
These are Facebook friends who you know are online all the time.
Of course they saw your post.
Why aren’t they giving you a Like? Are they competitive or jealous?
Women are competitive with each other
It’s sad but true: Women are competitive. While we are usually quite happy for our friends, there is sometimes a tiny part of us that can’t help compare ourselves to other women.
We are wired that way and advertising, etc. isn’t helping matters. It happens even more once our kids start school. It happens a lot more when we feel down on ourselves or about something in our lives.
It’s subtle. It’s even subconscious most of the time.
Many times you might feel like you are the only one doing this.
But it’s rampant. Even in women who appear to have it all together.
Those with killer careers and perfect families are guilty of it. It’s true even with the older moms and the brilliant and creative women you know.
Even exhausted moms who are so busy you wouldn’t think would have time to care. But we/they, at some point, all feel a little bit jealous or competitive. It’s difficult sometimes to not compare our careers, kids, families, vacations, looks.
Sometimes it’s obvious and overt.
Other times, you might feel like it’s you who has lost your mind rehashing a comment or a snub… a Facebook snub or a real-life snub. But you probably feel that way for a reason. Mommies play mind games.
Not giving the satisfaction of a Like
Everyone compares themselves with someone. And while we may not overtly wish someone ill-will, there are some people who don’t want to elevate another person’s status.
They don’t want to help boost them up the virtual social ladder.
Withholding Likes on Facebook is a way to appear disinterested. It’s a way to intentionally withhold affirmation and affection. To not give something your notice, or to be dismissive. To give someone the silent treatment.
The Original Poster is led to believe that the friend who didn’t Comment must not have seen the post. Or she was busy. Or maybe she’s mad at you or didn’t want to be bothered.
Perhaps, she wants you to think your post just Isn’t Good Enough.
According to Psychology Today, it’s all about the mind games. She didn’t want to give you credit for your accomplishment.
She saw your post but didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of a Like.
Social snubbing is real. There are those people who purposely don’t invite you to something and those who purposely withhold their public social praise to not elevate you higher than you already are.
Then there are others who do it for other reasons; perhaps to be more authentic by giving real thoughtful praise instead of a passive — I’m calling and leaving you a voicemail when I know you can’t pick up — kind of way.
But when you know the inner-workings and competitiveness of some women and moms, it’s easy to tell what their motivation is.
Are you withholding Likes on Facebook?
Sometimes people really do miss out on their Facebook friends’ big events because they are taking a break from Facebook, or they don’t log on everyday.
A good friend mentions something she posted on her Wall, and you have no idea what she’s talking about. This sometimes can be the case. Your friends maybe really didn’t see your post-worthy post.
Yes, this really happens on Facebook
Withholding Likes and not giving Likes and Comments is a real thing.
Sometimes people purposefully don’t RSVP to parties too, as sort of a mind game.
It’s sad, and it’s true.
Sometimes, it makes us sick. Other times, it makes us think, “I must be doing something right.”
But in the meantime, all you can do is to go on being the best you can be.
Temper the bragging, be happy for others, and keep on improving. And click Like on some of your Facebook friends’ posts please, especially when you see something really good happened.
* Not only did certain people withhold Likes to my post, one even Unfriended me!